TRINIDAD CARNIVAL 2014 ended on Tuesday and in listening to how much money the winners of the various contests had scored, I immediately thought about the “Stella” awards.
The Stellas are named after 81-year-old Stella Liebeck who, in 1992, ordered a cup of McDonald’s coffee at a drive thru, put it in between her knees while sitting in the passenger seat of her grandson’s stationary car, and attempted to remove the lid in order to add cream and sugar. The coffee, 180 to 190°F (82 to 88°C), spilled from the cup, causing third-degree burns. She was awarded US$2.86 million by a New Mexico jury. That case inspired the Stella Awards for the most frivolous, ridiculous, successful lawsuits in the United States.
Last year’s Stella winners are excellent examples of how some courts can make financial mountains out of legal molehills. These are all taken from the Stella Awards 2013 list. Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas, was awarded $780 000 after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running inside a furniture store. The misbehaving little toddler was Ms Robertson’s son. Carl Truman, a 19-year-old
of Los Angeles, won US$74 000 and medical expenses when his neighbour ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Truman apparently didn’t notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when he was trying to steal his neighbour’s hubcaps.
Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pennsylvania, was leaving a house he had just finished robbing by way of the garage. He could not open the garage door and could not get back into the house because he had locked the door when he closed it. The family was on vacation so Dickson was locked in the garage for eight days. He lived on a case of Pepsi he found and a big bag of dog food. He sued the homeowner’s insurance claiming the situation caused him undue mental anguish. The jury awarded him US$500 000.
The stellar “Stella” winner was Mrs Merv Grazinski, who bought a 32-foot Winnebago motor home and on her first trip set the cruise control at 70 mph and went to the back of the vehicle to make herself a sandwich. The vehicle crashed and overturned. The lady sued the company for not including this warning in the manual. The jury awarded her $1 750 000 plus a new motor home. The company had to change the instructions to cover this eventuality.
In Trinidad and Tobago, the judges of the soca or carnival song contests have millions to play with. In two of the competitions the winner gets TT$2 000 000 (BDS$596 275). In another, the Calypso Monarch contest, the winner gets TT$1 000 000 (BDS$298 138) and the calypsonians’ association is angry because it believes that the government should provide another million so that the “monarch” would be on par with the other winners.
Interestingly, when you compare those awards with awards by real judges in real courts in Trinidad and Tobago there is a huge discrepancy. For example, Leader of the Opposition Dr Keith Rowley was awarded TT$475 000 (BDS$141 615) in damages for libel. This was one of the highest ever in a defamation case in that country. The judge stressed the damage the libel had done to Rowley: “Not only has it been a continuing stain on his political life, but it has affected his personal and family life, having to address his children’s concerns and embarrassment about the allegations.”
It is not the fault of the judge that a soca monarch gets more than four times the amount awarded to Rowley despite the severity of the offence.
One of the unions reported a matter that was determined in the Industrial Court of Trinidad and Tobago. A worker was summarily dismissed after just three weeks, and there was no meeting or any indication that the worker was unsatisfactory.
She was just given a letter of dismissal. The worker had been paid one month’s salary at the time of her dismissal (TT$7 000 – BDS$2 087) and in conciliation in the Industrial Court a further TT$20 000 (BDS$5 963) was agreed. This is .001 per cent of what the “monarchs” receive.
Shanique Myrie was awarded US$37 500 or TT$235 000 for all that she went through.
This is in no way to question the judgments or the awards by any of the judges in any of these matters. They are all bound by rules, criteria and precedents.
If there is a moral to this particular Lenten story, it is that if you have a case in any court in Trinidad and Tobago, the first thing to do is to demand a change of judges. Ask for the people who judge the soca awards. You’re sure to start with at least two million dollars.
If the case is against the government of Trinidad and Tobago, ask for those who judge the National Calypso Monarch Awards. Your name will be sure to start a new set of awards to replace the “Stella”.
• Tony Deyal was last seen saying that prisoners in Idaho have sued eight brewers for causing them to be criminals. In such a case you just have to grin and beer it.
