Dear Christine,
I DON’T UNDERSTAND my 17-year-old sister anymore. While she claims to be a feminist of some sort, she wears clothes that are extreme and designed to make men’s eyes fall out of their heads.
Unfortunately, our mother died three years ago, and since I am six years older, I am sort of in charge of keeping this kid sister in line.
It is a real worry to me. Sometimes she travels around with parts of her breasts exposed and she wears some tempting clothing.
Up to now, my sister has been a straight “A” student, eager to go to college and the kind of person who has been more interested in books and ideas than in getting a man.
Maybe this sudden change has something to do with other kids teasing her about being prim. I really do not know. If I could understand what she is going through, maybe I could help
her. We have always been very close and she usually listens to me.
– “Allie”
Dear “Allie”,
I know it’s been three years, but first I would like to offer my condolences regarding the loss of your mum.
My take on the subject at hand is that the only way you can understand what your sister is going through is to talk to her and find out what’s going on in her head. If you are as close as you’ve said, that should not be a problem.
However, it could be that your sister’s friends may have made her feel she’s far behind them in sexual experiences or she thinks she is sexually unattractive. You can help by reassuring her.
Women of all ages who deliberately choose extreme sexually provocative clothing are apt to be emotionally insecure.
The revealing clothes may be an attempt to reassure themselves that they can be attractive. However, this can send a wrong message to men, who may view them simply as sex objects. I am sure if your sister is a feminist, this is not the real message she wants to send. In fact, some men may be frightened or turned off by this kind of blatant sexual display. Have that talk!
– CHRISTINE
