Today is farewell and I want to thank Roxanne Gibbs fuh de opportunity she give me years ago to be a part of de NATION newspaper. Wunnah can check my blog in future if wunnah want to read more, and thanks also to all de NATION people fuh de opportunity and fuh de cheques too.
Las’ lick, so here goes. I like good entertainment and I prepared to tek wha ever Chris left back and spend some pun de things dat does bring me joy, but a few things ’bout entertainment dat I cannot stand.
Example, MCs, dem is very important people, dem suppose to keep de show moving along and keeping yuh entertained. Dey got some good ones out there, fellas like Wayne “Kool” Simmons – efficient, interactive, knowledgeable. And dem yuh got a man like Mac – he does bring something different all de time and like Wayne, he know he job and when he done, he got yuh in stitches.
Years ago, 1988 to be exact, I produce a show wid Aubrey Choy. Yes, Mac, 26 years ago, it is time fuh you to call he name right; it is not Chow, it is Choy. Mac was de MC and de show was commissioned by Barclays Bank to celebrate 150 years in de Caribbean. National Stadium, ’bout 25 000 people, big money to be won, Sparrow in he hey day as de headline guest artiste and Bumba and Gypsy fighting it out fuh de top prize, which Gypsy won.
A proper show if ever there was one, complete wid an Anna Adamira production, nuff costumes and dancing girls, production fuh days and fireworks and pyrotechnics to blow yuh mind!
As executive producers, we beg Mac, beseech Mac, whatever yuh do, do not mess wid de chairman of Barclays in de Caribbean, Mr David Marish! At the end, everybody waiting fuh results, competitors from all over de hemisphere including Canada, USA and Belize.
Mac about to present de results; de Barclays big boy Mr Marish and wife pun stage. Mac went over to the only two white, not just white, lilly white, people pun de stage and interviewed dem. When he come to Mrs Marish, he ask: “And you are Ma’am?” De reply was short and so was Mac’s. She said: “I am Claire.” Mac, turning to de crowd, said: “I can see dat!” Stadium brek down fuh ’bout five minutes! A good MC also knows ’bout timing and a simple line can have a telling effect when delivered with de right tone and timing.
Most shows today got some clown wid a mic and de first thing dat come into he mind is “leh me hear you scream”. Really, scream? Wha dat suppose to do fuh me, damage my vocal chords? I pay fuh a good MC and all you could come up wid is “let me hear you scream”? Then, “how yuh feeling”? Before I could answer, he gone on to something else. If yuh ask how I feeling well, at least listen to muh nuh!
I feeling broke ’cause I had to fork out five hundred fuh Remy hair, outfit, pedicure, manicure, shoes and none of dem fuh me? How I feeling? I lick up ’cause Government carrying away all my disposable income after I vote fuh dem.
How I feeling? I got some aches and pains but you asking me how I feel and can’t even listen?
Fella, if you want to know how I feeling listen nuh, ah feeling bad, ah broke, de girlfriend gone, money gone and now Market Vendor gone too!
I, Market Vendor, gone FUH GOOD. You have a blessed and a wonderful day, yuh hear?