Tuesday, April 16, 2024

Marriage promises over


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Dear Christine,

I have been in love with a man for the past two years. He was married when I met him. I did not like the relationship but he made promises. He said he was having problems with his wife.

I believed him especially when he filed for a divorce. In the first year of our relationship he told me as soon as he got a divorce, he would marry me, and that he could hardly wait for that day.

Now this man got his divorce over a year ago and he has never spoken a word about marriage again.

As a matter of fact, all the romantic talk has died. I feel I am just being used as a mistress, cook and washer. He is in a good job but the only money he gives me is for food. If I am sick or need clothes, I cannot ask him for money.

He expects to be waited on and only sits around when he is not at work. I am really worried because after two years of doing what I am doing, I am wondering if I have been wasting my time.

There is no reason why we cannot marry if he loves me the way he said he did before his divorce. I do not see how I can continue to cook and clean for this man without being secured in a relationship.

I am awaiting your reply.

– K.D.


Dear K.D.,

Based on what you have written, this man’s former wife was only too glad to give him the divorce he wanted. The way he is with you now is probably the way he was with her.

The senior folk always say: “Come see muh and come live with muh, ain’t the same thing.”  

I honestly do not see what else you are waiting for to convince you that the talk about marriage was just that – talk. And even that has come to an end. So it’s a matter of finding the guts to send this gentleman to look for another cook, washer and sex partner.

I know it hurts to part from the happy past but if you look a little closer to the immediate past, you’ll find you aren’t that happy after all. Who wants to go on enduring misery? I hope it’s not you.




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