Dear Christine,
Yes, this is another one of those letters where a woman has fallen for a married man. I am that woman.
I am in love with a married man who says how much he loves me. We have been seeing each other for the past three years, but only when I can arrange the meeting and only to make love.
After that, he is up and gone until the next day when he will call maybe once or twice.
I have asked him to let us stop what is going on between us, but he says he cannot stop because he loves me. He has never given me a gift, a card or anything else on those special occasions such as Christmas, Valentine’s Day or my birthday.
I am not that poor off for him to have to support me, but a little gift shows appreciation. Don’t you think that if he loves me he would make some time to see me when we can be together for more than sex?
Since my husband of 20 years died five years ago, this man is the only man I’ve had. Even though other men (most of them single) have asked me out to lunch and dinner, I feel good when I am with him.
What do you think is best?
– V.L.
Dear V.L.,
Honestly? You should leave this man to his wife.
He comes to you for sex and is with her for relationship, inclusive of sex. He probably comes around when his wife cannot be bothered about being intimate.
He may also have many reasons for not showing any kind of “appreciation” by showering you with gifts at Christmas, on your birthday and on Valentine’s Day.
Is that all you think you’re worth? Why sell yourself short of a real relationship where you can enjoy the company of the one you love without him having to hurry home to a wife and children?
Why not accept an offer of lunch or dinner fom one of those single and disengaged suitors?
Find the strength to break off this relationship and find new friends.
How can you be at peace knowing you’re contributing to the pain of another woman, namely his wife?
– CHRISTINE
