DEAR CHRISTINE, I seem to have lost someone I care for a lot, even though I have only known him for a short while.
I’ve lost him because he wanted to have sex with me almost from the first night he took me out. We went out for about a month, and after I kept refusing, he started being unkind. Then, he stopped visiting me altogether.
Just over a week ago I went to The City and saw him shopping around with a young woman. I did not allow him to see me, but from the look of things they seemed quite close.
He even paid for the items which she took up from the store.
I spoke to him on the telephone two days later and he was very nice and polite, but said he did not know when he would see me again.
I miss him very much and wonder what I should do to get him back. I hope you can help me. I am feeling very unhappy at present.
– G.Y.
Dear G.Y.,
To have someone turn their back on you like that must hurt a whole lot, but the truth is, you never had this guy. You had his attention, but that was all you had.
Now he has made it quite plain that he is only interested in you if you’re offering sex, which you’re not.
I guess you’d preferred to form a lasting friendship with mutual understanding before hitting the sack, but this guy had a different plan in mind.
It also seems quite obvious that there is someone else in his life; judging from what you said you saw in the store.
It is natural that you are going to feel some hurt, but once you know it is really over – and the phone call you had with him certainly suggests that – all you can do is try to forget him and move on to meeting and making new friends.
Don’t feel sorry that you have not given in to him. It is quite possible that if you did, he would eventually move on. You’re the winner in this case, so stop feeling like a loser.
– CHRISTINE
