I contracted a sexually transmitted disease after a one-night stand a few Christmas seasons ago when I went with a guy I met at a party.
I had seen the guy through the years and always admired his physique, but had never spoken to him until that night. Unfortunately, I did not only talk, but ended up having sex with him in his car.
Why did I do it?
The long and short of my story is that I was drunk. I was not in control of myself as I had been drinking for most of the night.
Though I drank only beer, after three or four, you just don’t think straight and can act pretty stupid, often doing things you would never even consider if you were sober.
Because of my thoughtless actions, I have to face the agony of flare-ups and taking expensive medication for the rest of my life, unless a cure is found.
Worse still, I’ll find it difficult to build a lasting relationship. Imagine, each time I meet someone I really care for, before we can become intimate, I have to confide to him that I have an incurable sexual disease which I can pass on to him.
Do you have any idea how that scares men off?
For instance, I was going out with a guy for just over eight months and he seemed totally into me. We really enjoyed each other’s company and could talk about all sorts of things for hours. I felt myself getting more attached to him, but resisted it until I was sure that he felt the same.
As the weeks went by, I was so convinced he was the one for me that I created the right atmosphere for him at my apartment as I was determined to tell him all about my condition, and find out once and for all where I stood with him
That night, as he reclined on the couch, comfortable and happy, I could see that he too wanted me. But when I told him the truth, all he did was to stare at me in disbelief. He never once interrupted me and showed me any pity. He just stared!
His arms were around me, but after I told him the news, he moved them; and within ten minutes he left my house, promising to call.
I know what I had to say was a shock, but his response really caught me off guard as I expected him to be more mature. To be quite honest, he totally shattered my confidence.
Since then, I have never told any other man about my problem.
Since then, too, I have not even got close enough to anyone to contemplate intimacy.
Though I’ve wanted to be with someone, I could never have a fling. That would be irresponsible and could ruin the man’s life. Besides that, it would be wrong and heartless of me to do such a thing.
I know some people who contracted a sex disease the way I did would try to get back at other men, but I don’t want that sort of thing on my conscience. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I did that.
Anyway, my reason for speaking out is to make women, in particular, aware of what can happen to them if they get caught up in the season and don’t think about their actions.
You see, there are three things that go around in abundance at this time more than anything else – food, drinks and sex.
The first two are the most obvious – as it is always said, “Eat, drink and make merry”.
The last one, sex, is not.
The thing is, it is well known in medical circles that the two most prolific months for babies to be born in Barbados are between September and October.
An easy calculation would tell you that nine months earlier, in December and January, conception would have taken place.
That means people would have had unprotected sex.
I wonder how many of them had that sex under the influence of alcohol or drugs, like me?
I wonder how many of them contracted an infection from that outing, like me?
I wonder how many of them would have regretted doing what they did, but had the baby because they don’t believe in abortion?
And speaking about abortions, I can’t help but wonder how many more babies would have been born if they were not terminated.
I want women to recognise that what happened to me is not an isolated case. It can happen to them if they drink uncontrollably.
I’m not saying don’t drink. Rather, I’m suggesting that you don’t drink to the point that you cannot control your responses.
That is, if you notice you’re laughing a lot more than usual, feeling a bit light-headed, or becoming mischievous and begin flirting, watch out – you may be tipsy.
Ladies, I beg you, enjoy your parties for the holidays, but stay away from too much alcohol and dope. Also, walk with a condom – not because you’re looking to have sex, but in case you meet someone and want to have sex, as you never know what disease the man you may end up with could give you.
