Dear Christine,
I have always felt sorry for those unfortunate women writing to you after they were left pregnant by some lovers.
Recently, I had an experience which has been intensified both by my sympathy for the women as well as my anger toward those men.
We just had our first child and what an experience it was. I found out that a woman needs all the love and affection she can get during those months. She needs to be encouraged in order to face childbirth with confidence.
She needs money for proper medical care and to buy items for the expected child.
Christine, how on earth can a man leave a woman during this time? There are diapers to buy (and these can be costly), clothes to launder, food to cook, a house to clean . . . and the list goes on endlessly.
The baby will get up three, four, five times a night. For the mother, it’s hard work during the day and little sleep at night. This can ruin a person’s nerves.
I do not care what they call me, I chip in with everything – from mixing the baby’s milk to changing my son when it is necessary.
When my wife is tired at night, I get out of bed and attend to the baby. If the baby needs to be breast fed, I do not roll over and tell my wife to take care of that, I will get up, stay up with her and make sure she and the baby are back in bed after the necessary routine.
I also help with the cooking and cleaning.
No woman can bring a child into this world by herself and she must not be left to raise a child on her own – whether or not she is married.
If any man has even an infinitesimal amount of love for a woman or a modicum of care about his child, he would never leave them high and dry at the time when they need him most.
You may be wondering why I am writing this at this time. It’s because many people make resolutions at the start of the year and I am hoping that this new year, those men who fail to be responsible fathers will vow to be more committed to their children – even if the relationship between them and the mother of their children is over.
It would also mean that so many women won’t have to take their child/children’s father to court in order to get a mere $50 or so per week in “child maintenance”.
In fact, I think it is a shame that this money is so low, yet the men won’t even pay it. Perhaps if the courts/law in Barbados raise the amount of weekly monies paid in child support, the father would pay.
I hope things will change for the better in 2015.
A blessed and prosperous new year to you, Christine.
Keep up the good work.
– Caring Dad
Dear Caring Dad,
It is a real delight to receive such a positive letter on the second day of the year (the actually date on which the letter was received).
I am sure that every mother, or even every woman, reading your letter, believes you are the somewhat perfect father figure.
So many men abandon their partners even before the child is born.
Yet, I maintain that whether or not there is still a relationship going on between the mother and father, either way a child should not have to suffer. Both parents should take an equal role in their child’s upbringing.
Thanks for taking the time to write. Keep up the good work and a blessed and prosperous new year to you also.
– CHRISTINE