In this edition of On The Ball, NATION sports writer Justin Marville looks at the complications of athletes’ love lives.
It’s long been rumoured Wilt Chamberlain slept with 20 000 women.
Well, maybe not rumoured, because Wilt himself said he slept with 20 000 different women.
Or at least he claimed to.
Scoring so heavily off the court seemed to work out for the Lakers legend too, considering how prolific he was on it during a 15-year career where he was wasn’t married once, or even involved in a single monogamous relationship.
And maybe other professional athletes should seriously consider this route (um no, not the 20 000 women bit).
Because maybe, serious relationships are actually detrimental to the livelihood of sportsmen.
Calm down, Marilyn Rice-Bowen, I’m not nearly promoting or even condoning promiscuity, irresponsible sexual behaviour and the degrading of women.
Nor am I putting down the institution of marriage. I’m just saying pro athletes should.
At least while they’re still playing.
Actually, it only just crossed my mind over the past couple weeks while hearing two elite sportsmen close to home decided to put their careers on hold after learning of their partners’ infidelity.
Of course the natural response would be to say these men need to man up and just take the horn, but that’s easy to say when you’re the person not being horned.
This isn’t to say every wife or spouse will be disloyal, or that each sportsman should be so insecure to be overly-worried about such infidelity. But the risk of that type of distraction is too big for a job that demands more focus than any other.
You see, to be in the elite class of any sport requires an inane drive and a near maddening determination that 85 per cent of the human race can’t even begin to fathom.
Lose that focus, and well…I’ll just let Dr Rudi Webster tell you the rest.
“I’ve been on West Indies tours and seen some of the fellas worried about their wives and that affected their performance in a negative way,” recalled Webster in a brief telephone conversation I had with the noted sports psychologist.
“Obviously you can’t focus on your job if you think someone is out there satisfying her needs.”
Don’t worry, Rice-Bowen, Dr Webster isn’t on my side, though he wasn’t against it either; he merely gave instances to help support and weaken my case.
For example, the dear doctor shared with me an extract from his book Think Like A Champion, where great Pakistani pacer Wasim Akram revealed in an interview that his career truly took off at the age of 25 when he first got married.
It should be noted, though, that Akram’s late wife was also a psychologist and psychotherapist who taught him the importance of the mind in sport, which could be used to further strengthen my point about the need for undistracted focus.
My critics can easily point to the countless number of all-time great sportsmen that were married to more “normal” women to invalidate my view, and they would more than have a strong case.
“Like everything in life it varies from person to person as there are some people who get support and confidence from being with their spouse and then there are some others that might run into trouble so I don’t think there is any one answer,” reasoned Dr Webster.
And I wouldn’t be able to argue against that, other than to say that unless you truly know yourself (and you typically don’t until 30) then why take the risk when there is so much at stake?
Which leads me to my next point: the shelf life of the average athlete is too short to be spent doing other stuff.
We as fans and casual observers can get caught marvelling at the long careers of a Kobe Bryant, Roger Federer and Peyton Manning that we often don’t realise the typical span of a sportsman is between three to five years.
So it’s not like I’m saying never get married, or put off being in a serious relationship for the rest of your life, I’m saying make sure to maximise the short window you have because your entire life will be there waiting for you anyway.
It’s not like most 20-year-olds are successful in their romantic endeavours anyhow, so waiting until after the age of 30 may be good advice for even non-athletes.
The life of a professional sportsman doesn’t even lend itself to the fostering of great relationships either, considering pro athletes are typically away from home for months on a stretch.
Last I checked, for relationships to work they generally need time and effort – things that sportsmen don’t quite have in abundance when they already have training, workouts, meetings, practice, games, endorsements and other functions.
Yes, there are sportsmen and celebrities that manage to balance love lives somewhere in there as well, but how many can truthfully say they do it successfully?
Or better yet faithfully?
Not that I want to identify with Jason Whitlock, heaven forbid, but the FOX Sports columnist once wrote “I never understood why a college or professional athlete would get married [as] they enter into the institution of lying/marriage with as much chance of remaining sexually faithful as I do entering a Wendy’s and adhering to my diet”.
I don’t think I have to relay any one particular story, but the temptation of constant sex is so real that one journalist summarised NBA life in six words: “play ball, get laid, sleep in”.
Apparently Wilt took this a bit too literally. Like 20 000 times too literal.
Then again, he also had 31 419 points, 23 924 rebounds and no need for a relationship.
