All the years I come along and know dat when women get married, their last name should and does change tuh the man’s name. Ya doan be a miss anymore; ya does be a mistress.
Ya does be a mistress dis or a mistress dat: not mistress dis and dat or mistress dis-dat. Ya does forfeit ya maiden name fuh the man’s, your husband’s name. Like the officiating minister does say, and the two shall become one.
But not nowadays, boh, duh got some women who decide dat dem gine hold on pon duh maiden names, dat dem keeping duh names and, just tuh show dat duh married, gine put a hyphen between dem name and the man’s name and make it what people does call a double-barrel name.
Well, I gine be honest wid you, I really doan know what does make some o’ these women think dat putting two names together does sound cute. I doan know if some o’ dem think dat it does make dem sound important. I doan know if dem think dat keeping duh family name means something and I doan know if these women does practise calling the two names ovah and ovah again before the wedding so dat they will get accustomed tuh hearing it.
But I gine tell ya, when ya really think ’bout it, some o’ dem, I mean the names, real comical in trute, ya know? You could imagine dat a woman would call she self Brenda Willoughby-Williams or Sandra Marshall-Haynes or Joan Weekes-Jones? Look, it too ridiculous, though. I mean tuh each his own but some o’ dem really need tuh stop the foolishness.
I could understand dat if the woman was some kinda professional and was known by her maiden name all the years, when she eventually got married, tuh change her name and start using her husband’s name would not be such a good idea at all. A double-barrel name here would in order – ya know she got married. But tuh play you keeping a name because you think it sound cute or important or you asserting yourself as an individual or whatevah is bare foolishness.
We does talk ’bout children and the names the new-fashion parents giving dem nowadays but check out some o’ the teachers’ names. Some o’ dem poor children does probably have tie-tongue trying tuh call some o’ the double-barrel names and I ain’t know if you evah notice, but a lot o’ teachers does have double-barrel names.
Why you think dat the children from infants school does call the teachers ma’am from reception all the way tuh the time duh leff school? It is tummuch name tuh call and it does take too long tuh call it.
Some women does even impose dat double-barrel foolishness pon duh children. Now take fuh example, she got two children. One child name Rashantia and the next one name Raheems, the mother got a double-barrel name and decide dat she want her children, both boys and girls, tuh carry both names which are Wilkinson-Robinson. Now cud’dear, how you think dem poor children gine feel all the way through school wid all o’ dem names attached tuh dem?
Honestly, though, I ain’t know why some women who not a soul ain’t know would feel, think or believe fuh whatevah reason dat they have tuh do it but they need tuh stop ’cause some o’ dem lot o’ names does really put ya off.
• Mavis Beckles was born and raised in The Orleans. She has an opinion on everything.
