This is the story of Nathan (not his real name) who was abused as a child. Below is the final part of that story as he recounts his life.
PARENTS, PLEASE UNDERSTAND that in the very same way that you are professionals in your respective fields of work, these predators are also professionals in their work field, which happens to be abuse.
In the event that your child is abused do not ever under any circumstances blame yourself, or worse, blame your child for the abuse. Your children should be the jewels of your life and the quality of your child’s life should be your number one concern.
Remember, as guilty as you may feel, it is not your doing or your fault that someone consciously betrayed your trust to abuse your child.
To those of you who have been abused in one way or another, get up and fight for your life. Do not let anything or anyone destroy your life . . . . Understand that in this world, whenever you stand up for yourself, you’re going to meet resistance.
As far as your abuse goes, be prepared for people trying to make you feel as if fighting for yourself is wrong. Chances are that most people will not understand your pain, because it is a pain they themselves just cannot comprehend. They just don’t understand that it is more than just a touch, or more than just sex. It is a feeling of being a helpless child in a situation in which you have absolutely no control.
Understand that most people, including your closest loved ones, will not understand the pain that comes with it, nor the reason for which you fight because no matter how much they try to imagine your pain.
People often ask the question, why now? Why did you wait so long to do something about it? The obvious reason is that at the time you were a helpless child, and as a child there was nothing you could do. As a result, immense feelings of confusion, guilt and fear are created. These three factors are the contributors to the abuse being locked away deep within the “victim”.
Confusion – the confusion of having a “friend” who is also an “enemy” – a person who helps build your world up in any way they possibly can only to break it down, then helps you rebuild so they can repeat the process.
Guilt – due to this person’s illusion of friendship, in your mind they will feel like a “good friend” and the “friendship” itself will seem real to you and because of this, a sense of guilt will occur when you attempt to treat your predator as they should be treated. The guilt the “victim” feels is a very misplaced sense of guilt upon themselves that is caused by the confusion mentioned above, and because of this confusion and guilt the “victim” will be tempted to let go of the experience and do nothing because they may feel as if they are wrong to punish their predator because their predator is also their “friend”.
Fear – Fear of embarrassment, ridicule and hate from others forces people into a very humbling submission to accept the abuse that they shouldn’t.
I was very innocent, quiet, reserved and introverted child, afraid of the world I lived in. The reason for this fear is because I experienced a very traumatic early childhood. To be brief, my mother had a severe case of alcoholism, which she didn’t win. So having to hear relatives tell me to stay away from my mother, children at school tell me about how much of a drunk she was and having to experience chaotic situations due to her alcoholism was indeed very traumatic. The good aspect of my life was that I had someone who took on the role of mother and raised me as if I was one of her own.
The evil of my life, however, was that a spineless coward . . . saw it fit to deceive my family by taking advantage of the “friendship” he had with them to falsely befriend me in hopes of converting me to his homosexual way of life.
To you, my dear predator, my “best friend”, I do not believe in the idea that you are unapproachable or unstoppable. I do not believe in the hype of who you are.
I cannot speak on behalf of the world, but concerning to my life, my world, I cannot and will not allow anyone or anything in this world, including myself, to destroy or diminish any aspect of my life, past, present or future.
A message to the evil of this world: Any evil that presents itself in my life will be unapologetically destroyed without hesitation or mercy. A message to my fellow human beings: Anyone who allows themselves to be subjected by evil will be destroyed along with it as well.
If this message resonates with you in any way, if you still see things in this life as they should be and not necessarily as they are, if you place the things that are proper above the things that are popular and understand that your child needs a protector in their life, please remain vigilant and strong.