DEAR CHRISTINE, I met a really nice black girl two years ago when I was leaving the island to go on an overseas trip. I am a white Bajan.
We met, said where we worked and spoke to each other for an hour before we took our separate flights.
We never saw each other again until six months ago when we were both travelling on the same flight.
However, I was travelling to one destination, while she was an intransit passenger making her way to another country.
This time we had a really great conversation. We exchanged numbers and promised to keep in contact. Since then, we have started dating – unofficially, I should say.
Fallen in love
The thing is this, I am not sure how to tell my relatives that I have fallen head over heels in love with this woman.
She is a local, just as I am, but I do not believe that my family will take to mixed-race relationships.
We’ve never had it in my family before and I am not sure how to handle this situation. Mind you, I am 26 years old.
We have not been intimate sexually up to this stage and I really care too much for this young woman to disrespect her beliefs about relationships and having casual sex without any commitment.
I am also not sure how my friends will react when they discover that my special friend is black.
I wish that in this day and age so much emphasis would not be placed on the colour of a person’s skin, but truth be told, sometimes it is.
I have never had any problems about race but sometimes we allow society to dictate for us.
I want to introduce my family and friends to this special young woman who is not only beautiful, but has the brains to go along with it.
I am hoping to take her to meet my family but how to do so is still presenting a challenge to me.
She also has her own views about mixed-race relationships.
Do you think that we are making an issue out of this whole thing?
How do we break the news to our respective family members?
– P.B.
Dear P.B.,
I would not say that you are making an issue out of this but both of you may be surprised at the reaction of your family members.
I am of the view that you are very much aware of and understand the prejudices that still exist in some circles when it comes to mixed-race relationships and marriage.
They are definitely real and it’s not your imagination running away with you. However, every case can be different.
I believe that you and your friend can be gentle in breaking the news to your parents and friends. For instance, the two of you should tell them before any formal meetings that you’re dating a person of a difference race.
This will help to cushion any surprises.
You will know by the reaction of your respective relatives what their views are and how you can best tackle any uncomfortable feelings or awkwardness you both may need to come to grips with.
If you come up against disapproval of any kind, perhaps both of you will need to remind your respective families and friends that love comes in all shapes, sizes and colours.
Who knows? Perhaps there will be no opposition at all.
With or without their approval, you are two adults who do not need permission from anyone else to remain friends.
I trust that all will go well.
– CHRISTINE