Friday, April 12, 2024

AWRIGHT DEN: The right mindset


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LOSING A LOVED ONE, getting married; migrating to another country and changing career are a few experiences that not only have a huge impact on your life, but also reform you.

Today I want to talk about another experience that I believe impacts the greatest of all and that is becoming a parent. I’ve been a parent for four years to two beautiful daughters and can honestly say that it has been one of the most rewarding and honourable jobs I have ever done, but also the hardest, most time-consuming and tiring.

I am no expert on parenting and since my eldest is only 4, my knowledge based on experience is limited and I have a long way to go. Nonetheless, I believe I have something to offer and there are some out there who will benefit.

One of the best ways to prepare for parenthood and to succeed in parenting and being a supportive partner is having the right mindset and attitude.

Guys, if you are having sex without some measure of contraception, know that there is a possibility of getting your lady (hopefully she is your spouse) pregnant. It is important to condition your mind to this reality. It is also important to be positive in your response and communication when you find out conception has occurred, especially when the future mummy tells you. For those who understand spiritual things, seeds of rejection can be planted at this moment.

Pregnancy is one of the most taxing experiences a woman’s body may go through. As a result, the body you knew before pregnancy may never return and you as a husband/man must appreciate that. Some women gain weight, lose hair, get stretch marks, have skin issues, have a protruding tummy, her breasts may drop and for some, drop further and the list goes on. Oh and her vagina may feel and look different also. Maturity and love must prevail here, as beauty should never be defined solely on physical characteristics. All of this change may be hard for you to accept and deal with but think about how much harder it is for your lady. Telling her she is beautiful and affirming her often with your love will go a long way in rebooting her self-esteem (if lost) and maintaining an atmosphere of joy and celebration in your home.

Whether you go public or private, there will be numerous doctor visits and with each trimester, those visits increase. Where possible, try to attend every visit with her and make a greater effort during the last trimester when she is bigger and moving around can be uncomfortable and at times painful. Accompanying her on these visits not only show support and care to your lady but also provides you with valuable knowledge and wonderful memories.

If you think your lady is moody, you ain’t see nothing yet. During pregnancy and definitely after, mood swings are frequent. This may be due to many factors; hormonal changes, sleep deprivation, discomforts from childbirth, stress, tiredness and demands of being a new mother. You may be snapped at or have your head “eaten” off many times but if you understand what she may be experiencing and have the right mindset, you should be able to manage the situation well and respond in an appropriate and caring manner.

Men love their sex but after birth you will have to wait for a while. That time varies but do know that each woman is different and those who had a caesarean section or an episiotomy may need more time to heal. It wouldn’t kill you to wait, trust me, and don’t feel rejected or embarrassed if you go searching after just a week and the “shop” is still closed for maintenance, LOL.

There are some duties within the home that women are naturally good at but during and after pregnancy, you will have to adopt many of those duties. Yes, it will be exhausting and time consuming and many times you will be frustrated and fed up but let love prevail and know that your contribution and support will be appreciated.

This is only one twentieth of what I wanted to share but I hope it was of benefit to you. Be a man and be there for your lady and your child.  

• Corey Worrell is a former Commonwealth Youth Ambassador. Email


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