DEAR CHRISTINE, I am a very unhappy young woman because the man my mother wants me to marry is not the man I truly love.
Why in this day and age should parents be trying to tell their children whom they should or should not marry? Also, why should a mother use her children the way my mother is trying to use me?
She really thinks this is the man for me because he helps her with her household items and food, which she gives to my younger siblings. If she loves him so much, then maybe she should marry him instead.
I do not hate this man but I am simply not in love with him. My mother is busy talking to him about getting married to me and she is even trying to set a date and time. Can you imagine this? I am not very happy about that but given our cultural background, she perhaps thinks I should do as she wants. I don’t intend to.
Christine, I am 21 years old. I also have a good job and can afford to leave home and take care of myself or live with my grandmother, who is willing to accept me. What should I do?
– C.P.
Dear C.P.,
Don’t allow this man or your mother to pressure you into marriage because this man has a generous heart and hand. Love and respect are important to any union and if you do not love or respect him, there is no reason why you should marry him.
I take it from your letter that by your “cultural background” you mean that parents can determine who their son or daughter marries.
The truth is, a bad marriage cannot be easily repaired and only causes lots of stress and unhappiness.
Speak your mind concerning their plans. In addition, take a stand. If you are accepting any of the “gifts” this man is offering, cease from doing so.
Break from this “cultural norm” because, clearly, your eyes have been opened. If in “breaking away” you have to leave the confines of your mother’s home, venture out without fear. Your grandmother’s home appears to be the better choice. – CHRISTINE
