TOMAS took the book so I’m working from memory. Naturalist Gerald Durrell was in Paraguay collecting animals. After a few months, he got urgent word there’d been a coup. He should release all but a few animals and get out pronto.
He bade his new friends adieu and opened their cages. Amazingly many stayed put and refused to leave. Maybe a parrot or two even scolded him: “What’s app, boss? We likes this socialism thing – ‘to each according to his needs’. We doesn’t have to hunt or get hunted. Everything’s provided. So why should we go back into the wild?”
My contention here is that some, possibly, many, humans no longer regard prison as any eternal punishment once they get accustomed to the routine. Some may hate every moment and can’t wait to get out. But too many seemingly do their best to get back in as soon as possible.
Let me admit up front I’ve never been to prison. But I’ve been married 40 years and, trust me, the four walls of those marriage vows and the love for your family can exert much more restraint than prison walls. Two big differences, though. In prison there’s a lot more sex. And you don’t get told: “We’re eating left-over scraps today”.
Recently I watched a YouTube video on HMP Dodds (a disgraceful insult to Barbados that should never have been allowed). Much ado was made about the prison food lacking hot sauce and gravy. A former inmate who was working for me last week didn’t agree: “I used to enjoy that food up there”, he reminisced happily.
The video also showed a smiling group pontificating on, and actually demonstrating, their “boogaloos”, as genital beading is called. This is where they insert beads under the skin of their doogals to create bumps. “The women love it!” enthused one fellow who has seven. We who can scarcely find time to wipe the beads of sweat from our foreheads can only wonder.
Three recent stories triggered this column. First, convicted “con man” Mark Murrell asking Magistrate Frederick: “Do you think imprisoning someone will make them change, sir?” Secondly, a comment from Antoinette Connell that: “After 29 years in prison, five of them on death row, Patrick Greaves is finding life on the outside harder than it was behind bars”. (I have seen Patrick’s excellent vegetable garden efforts and hope he will be given every assistance to make himself right.)
Finally, the rapturous welcome accorded another convicted murderer released after 16 years, complete with full newspaper coverage and hugs from well-wishers.
Peoples, we must have serious concerns about the administration of justice in this country. If the present system is causing people to be on remand for over four years, why aren’t the delays ironed out? Or more judges appointed? Or why aren’t judges working seven days a week, 14 hours a day as every dairy farmer must do?
And if prison is our only answer to serious crime and prison isn’t saying anything, why aren’t we seeking other options? I suggest two:
In every community, every school, the youngsters going wrong are known. The drop-outs, the illiterates, the trouble-makers. Let’s be proactive and save them before they reach the block, drug, gang, gun stage. Even if it means removing them from their present environment.
Secondly, instead of prison, sentence offenders to the equivalent years of marriage to a foreigner white woman chosen for her big, painted-red mouth (indicative of similar largesse in other departments); loud, whiny, know-all, made-in-USA voice; health food fanatic; zen and karma addict. I guarantee there will be no repeat offenders.
Incidentally, just read of the Medicare G-Plan: if you are a senior citizen and government says it can’t afford your nursing home care, you can opt for the Medicare G (as in gun) -Plan. You will then be given a gun and one bullet to shoot a “worthless” politician. This means you’ll be sent to prison for life where you’ll receive three meals a day, living quarters, TV, library, all-inclusive health care. Moreover, you’ll pay no income tax.
Way to go!
One quickie: bought two fancy (Sol type) bottle-gas regulators with gauges. Discovered both were leaking gas! Check yours with soap solution.
Richard Hoad is a farmer and social commentator. Email porkhoad@gmail.com.
