Thursday, April 25, 2024

DEAR CHRISTINE: Child mother says he doesn’t want me


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Dear Christine,

It’s been a long time I wanted to write to you. Now is the time, since I cannot hold back any longer with my problem.

I am in love with a man whom I met last year. He seemed so nice then, and would call several times a day.

If I am going anywhere he would  want to either take me or pick me up afterwards. He has  also taken me to his parents’ home.

If he calls and the telephone is busy, he wants to know who I was talking with. He also pays my bills but recently I found out  that he is still going around with his child’s mother. I also heard he sleeps there.

When I ask him “where were you?” he would say: “I went by  the fellows and then went home and slept.”

I asked him if he was still in love with his child’s mother. He told me the only reason he goes to her house is to see his son. One day he was home at his mum and the little boy was there. I heard the little boy’s voice saying “Daddy”. I asked him who it was and he said, “my son”.

I paused for a while, and then he asked me if I was vexed. I replied: “Why should I be vexed?” I then told him he should treat the little boy nicely.

One day I heard the phone ring and when  I answered, a woman’s voice asked to speak to me. She then asked if  I knew this guy. After  I said I did, she told me he does not want me. When I asked who it was, she told me she was his child’s mother.

She said she also heard that he had a woman in another parish and when she questioned him about it, he said she did not know what she was talking about.

Finally, she told me they were planning to travel abroad next year to be married and that when she asked his mother about me, his mother said she does not see him with anybody.

This is a lie because his mother told me how often they (she and her son) keep saying what a nice person I am, and that if he didn’t want me, he should not go around me to destroy  my life.

What I want to know is how come he is telling his son’s mother he  does not know me. Whenever he and his friends at work have parties, he takes me.

Christine, I do anything for this man and he has told me that he would never do anything to hurt me. I have never found him with any lewd company or with anyone else. Whenever I see him  he is alone.

Do you think he loves me? I really love him a lot.

– R


Dear R,

I cannot honestly tell you if this man loves you. I believe he cares for you deeply but only you will be able to tell if it is love  that exists between you two.   

 You can never swear for a person, so whether or not he is being honest with you is also hard to tell.

I hope you are not in any way annoyed with him for the attention he pays his son, since you entered into this relationship with the knowledge that a child existed. As long as a child exists, there must be a mother somewhere.

Speaking about the mother, I am of the opinion that this woman may be trying to make it difficult for you and this man to have a relationship.

But then again, she might also be telling the truth – based on what the child’s father is telling her.

My suggestionto you would be to confront him. Let him know what you have been told by the child’s mother and watch his reaction.

If he tells you there is something going on with him and her, please don’t stick around for an explanation.

Just leave him and that complicated relationship behind. I’m sure there is someone just for you somewhere out there.



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