I AM SPENDING six weeks’ holiday in Barbados and, after reading your Dear Christine and I Confess columns, I felt that I should write to this forum outlining my absolutely warm and wonderful experiences in Barbados some years ago.
I came to Barbados as a student and I must say that during the two years I spent here I honestly have never had a better time before or since then. I must admit, few women I have encountered in any other place can match up to Barbadian women who are sexy, sensuous and generous.
I had left my homeland to study in Barbados and I arrived in the island with an opened mind. I am from a bigger island than Barbados, even though you like to consider us as smaller or lesser developed. I quickly settled in and soon found a young lady who charmed me. I was 26 years old at the time and she was 25 and we were very compatible.
At that time I was fascinated by the cinema and loved a party. I loved my drinks also. So I fell in love with your favourite beer and must admit that your rum was like a magnet.
This young lady who was to become my girlfriend had a very embracing family and I became a part of them rather quickly and easily. I can only describe it as a myth that Barbadians do not open their house to you. Well, at least some of them do, and yes, some don’t, as I will explain later in this letter.
So, at Christmas that first year I did not return to my homeland and the girlfriend whom I left there quickly realised that something had gone wrong, for I was not one to miss that special time of the year, since it coincides with the birth of my first daughter. I liked spending the holidays with her, and indeed her family even though I was no longer involved with my daughter’s mother. My then girlfriend had embraced my daughter and she was pregnant with what turned out to be another daughter.
Fine Christmas dinner
I remember that Christmas in Barbados going to an Anglican church which was the first time for me since I was raised a Catholic. Surprisingly, there was no real difference in the mass. I had a fine Christmas dinner with lots of drinks and thoroughly enjoyed the next week.
It was a time for partying and going to the cinema to watch Bruce Lee, the Kung Fu martial art thriller, who was big at that time. I wallowed in sex. My Bajan sweetheart ensured a young strong fellow like me was never in need.
The relationship blossomed. It got serious and seemed as if it would go further. I remember at Easter I did not return home unlike some of my colleagues but stayed and did some work for my examinations. I excelled in the first year, particularly with my strong area of mathematics. My sweetheart also excelled.
My girlfriend had relatives in New York and that summer vacation we went to spend some time with them. We stayed in New York for six weeks between two of her relatives in New York and Boston; then we went to my homeland.
Marriage was on her mind, we were going to get engaged while in my island. During my absence, my former girlfriend had given birth to my second daughter. I had not one but three ladies in my life; a girlfriend and two daughters. I also had a former girlfriend who was not at all amused by my new love.
Every effort was made to virtually run this Bajan lass out of my homeland. Everything that was wrong was done to her. Her life was miserable.
No comfort
She asked if on graduation I would be returning to my country. I said I had to, given the conditions of my leave. My response brought no comfort.
We returned to Barbados less than a week before the start of college. I was a live-in student and retreated to my dormitory which became my shelter as a chasm developed between myself and this woman I really loved. She had been jolted and hurt and wanted her space. Things quickly went from bad to worse and we drifted apart. The relationship soon ended.
I was lonely and frustrated for about three weeks until I met another female student at a social. This relationship quickly blossomed. She was the type of Barbadian we often hear about; they don’t invite you at them.
We developed a very close relationship. She introduced me to sex in the cinema, sex on the way from the airport and sex the last thing at night and the first thing in the morning. It in many ways mirrored that of the first relationships except I never personally met her family.
I called on the phone and went there or near there by taxi on two occasions. She became pregnant for me and the relationship also soured after she visited my homeland. Unfortunately, she terminated the pregnancy and perhaps robbed me of a third daughter at that time.
I subsequently left the Caribbean and lived in North America for many years. I am now retired and hope to celebrate my 70th birthday this year. I have a son whose mother is Bajan and he recently built a house and invited me to come and see it. I am spending a few weeks here catching up with old friends and past college mates.
What has amazed me is that after all the years and the different directions our lives have taken, I now find the warmth and kindness shown me by these two former ladies, who are both still alive, is no longer there. Both are married and, from my information, are retired.
I actually spoke to one, my first Bajan love, who politely indicated that I should not call again. The second one, I have not even tried to contact as she left bitter and in my efforts to speak to her many years ago, remained bitter. Her husband, who apparently is a well known person, once indicated that he would deal with me if I approached her. Unfortunately, my son’s mother has passed away.
At least no one can deny me the memories of yesterday and those sweet warm and passionate times I enjoyed with the Bajan gals.