Dear Christine,
I AM BEGINNING to feel very suspicious about my husband, who works as a salesman. I believe he sometimes uses the excuse of seeing a client to see another woman.
I started getting uneasy when he told me he was going a certain place and because he was late in coming home, I telephoned and was told he was not there.
When he came home I accused him. Apart from denying he was out with a woman, he would not say anything more. Since then we have been very cold towards each other.
We have young children and do not get a chance to go out together very often. How can I be sure of him, or how can I get rid of these doubts which are messing with my mind? I fear that I could end up ruining my marriage.
– B.B.
Dear B.B.,
You have no evidence whatsoever that your husband is cheating on you. Nothing at all! What you have are suspicions and some measure of uncertainty about yourself.
Your husband could well be an honest man who is so bent on bringing home the bacon, so to speak, that his job as a salesman, working on a commission basis, no doubt leaves him with little time to do much more. I suggest that you have a little faith in the man, especially since you cannot provide any evidence that he is playing the cheating game.
It could be that your lack of freedom to go out and socialise as you would like prevents both of you from spending quality time together. The pressures of family life are not easy at all. Sex and intimate times spent together are often “traded” for having to take care of the children, household duties and other responsibilities in the home.
Whatever you do, or however busy you are, always make yourself presentable to your husband. Believe me, this will go a long way in keeping intimacy strong. Also, have a sense of humour. Don’t take life too seriously and don’t go accusing your husband of having someone else – especially when you have no evidence.
If necessary, apologise to him and share your fears and concerns with him. I’m sure you’ll find a significant change (for the better) in your relationship with him.
– CHRISTINE
