Dear Christine,
MOST OF THE time my husband and I are quite happy in our sexual adjustment.
That’s a funny term to use, but in a way, it is just how I feel. We do adjust to each other and it usually works out well. However, on occasions, I am just not interested in sex; but I’ve never been able to tell him because I do not feel it is right.
I go along with his desires but I hate it. I suspect he knows I feel this way, because we always end up in a fight about something totally unrelated to sex; in-laws, money, whatever. He goes off to work and I am bothered all day by something that I don’t quite feel is right. What should I do, or is there something anyone can do?
– SC
Dear SC,
Sorry to sound repetitious but you can just talk to him, really. You have just indicated to me that you and your husband can discuss almost anything but sex. There is nothing wrong with a man or a woman saying “I love you, but I am not just in the mood for sex right now.” You may be married, but you are an individual. Your refusal to have sex on any particular occasion should not be considered a total turn-off. Often, what a partner wants is reassurance of love and understanding.
There is nothing wrong with hugging, holding and kissing. This need not always lead to the great fireworks in the sky experience.
If you and your husband can express affection through touch, life is easier.
Don’t be afraid to talk about your feelings.
– CHRISTINE
