Dear Christine,
JUST OVER SIX MONTHS ago I met a man while on my way to work. We struck up a conversation and were phone pals for three months before we went on our first date.
I will admit that I grew to love him, especially since he took me to meet his family within the first three months that we met. Soon after, we started a sexual relationship.
I felt like I was part of his family, so I also introduced him to my parents and siblings within our first three months of meeting each other. You could say we were seemingly a serious couple quite quickly.
Soon after we became sexually involved, I noticed he would find excuses not to call or even to see me. In fact, twice I saw him at one of the local malls and he pretended he hadn’t seen me.
I have since learned that he is friendly with another girl, even though he called just two weeks ago, after I hadn’t seen him for nearly two months, and asked if I would love to go to the movies with him. He said he was busy and felt we were going at a fast space.
He said he wanted to cool things off a bit but did not feel the liberty to talk to me.
Of course, I declined his invitation. He continues to call but I have since seen him out with the same woman as well as another woman on a different occasion. Would you say I am right to refuse him even though I still care for him?
– Y.N.
Dear Y.N.,
Caring for him is one thing, but from the look of things he appears to be a good con artist. Once he got what he wanted from you, he now wanted nothing more to do with you. I think his supposedly “follow-up call” inviting you to the cinema was a test as well as his way of making you believe he was still interested.
His excuses were also poor. He should have communicated his thoughts to you.
Frankly speaking, if he calls, I would not answer the telephone or return his calls. I don’t even think you should bother to notice him when you see him.
Actions speak louder than words. Forget the small talk and pay attention to his actions.
Next time try your best not to be too easily “fooled” by the next nice-talking man who tries to gain your confidence by introducing you to his family before he takes you to bed.
– CHRISTINE
