JOHN DUCKHOUSE sold us two female goats in 1989. Unprotected sex and a few more purchases did the rest. By 1994 we had 150. Health fanatics wanted goat’s milk, allergic babies, a prize-winning Irish setter. Many Bajan wives got satisfaction like never before. We supplied the supermarkets. Everybody said I had the biggest in the island.
Goat dairy. Two ladies are now making goat cheese with our milk. Our goat’s milk/bay leaf drink sells in a flash. We’ve exported small milk shipments to Antigua. Last week a friend in New York asked why not get into that market. It’s way more expensive there. Our goat’s milk is on par with or cheaper than coconut water or cane juice.
Good potential niche industry, right? Not if these dog attacks continue. Right now I want out. Can’t take it no more. Dog-tired, literally. Tried everything and failed.
These dogs are professional killers. St Andrew is one of the “dog-friendly” areas Dr Huey mentioned. People are abandoning unwanted dogs down here. They attack in packs, disappear into the trees. From Bawdens to Boscobel, farmers are crying out. Our goats can’t go out to graze. Milk production way down. Lost one of our best milkers on Tuesday. Both shoulders ripped open.
Menace
BBC did a recent comparison of Putin and Obama. Putin takes action, Obama talks. I am begging you, Mr PM, be a Putin on this one. You can’t tackle tigers with toothpicks. Empower the Animal Control Unit to eliminate this menace. They know what needs to be done but their hands are tied. Help us, for God’s sake!
Moving on to water. We moved here in late ’77 with 20-odd cows only to find the water was off. That’s been the pattern ever since. Tanks, as Peter Wickham says, are relatively cheap. Mount them high, as we’ve done, you don’t need a pump.
Works wonderful unless there’s an extended outage. Even then, the tankers usually respond. By the way, the old water meters spin even faster when only air is coming through. It’s entirely possible to get a big bill but no water.
We need to take our water supply seriously, though. Teach children in school how not to waste. Get the run-off water back into the underground aquifers. Use roof water for everything but cooking and drinking.
Wickham mentioned how Bermudan households depend on roof water. He didn’t mention that for a land area of 20.6 square miles, they have 375 species of birds including ducks, loons, boobies, frigatebirds, egrets, crakes, gallinules, coots, gulls, pigeons, doves, crows, buntings, sparrows . . . .
Unless these are remarkably well trained, or they have other methods, there must be a goodly amount of bird poop in Bermuda household water. Bajans tend to be fussy about such things.
Next to Mr P on Brasstacks and his cup or something which, according to its label, “contains chemicals known in the state of California to cause cancer and birth defects”. Some felt customs officers should have refused it entry.
Maybe by now the ever-alert Corey Layne has explained Proposition 65 but here’s the deal.
California has a “right to know” law which lists over 800 chemicals which could cause cancer, however remote the chance. For instance, if, before 2012, a mouse drank over 1 000 cans of Coke or Pepsi a day, he could’ve been at risk of getting cancer from the caramel colouring. And those drinks would’ve had to carry Mr P’s warning label. They changed the caramel.
Warning
You can find it on motor oil, glue, jean pants, even a spout you attach to your garden hose. Virtually anything designed to be sold in California carries the warning. The joke is that non-California-destined products containing the same substances carry no warning. Nor do genetically-modified foods.
Last one, the lovely Nicole Garofano came visiting on Sunday. I had planned to woo her with Proposition 69, the dirty old man’s standard spiel: the farm is worth a cool million; given her youth and my age, I wouldn’t survive the honeymoon; I’d die happy; she’d be rich.
Alas, there was snag. She let on she helps out an uncle with his health-food business. She would know no female can wear out an old geezer who’s pumped on goat’s milk. I didn’t even try.
Got a hug, though. Actually, two.
Richard Hoad is a farmer and social commentator. Email porkhoad@gmail.com
