I WAS IN THE second-floor bathroom when I heard a noise outside the window. It was not loud enough to be a thief trying to scramble up the concrete post to grab hold of the sill so bravely I opened the steel-framed window and, holding the latch firmly in the event I needed to hastily lock the window from inside, peered out to see what was out there.
It was a Blue Jean but not one of the Levi, Wrangler or Docker’s clan. This one belonged to the Tanager family, Thraupidae, a species of bird which can be found in Latin American and the Caribbean. Sexes are similar, but the immature is much duller in plumage. The bird was surprised but not because someone had opened the window but because I and not my wife had peered out at him.
He was more than disappointed. He was utterly disgusted and let out a loud “steups!” in protest and flew angrily away. Having seen that his plumage was dull and given his distinctly immature behaviour so far, I hastily pulled my head back into the bathroom and quickly shut the window to avoid any further manifestation of his juvenile delinquency.
A few days later, I went to the kitchen for an early breakfast and, having opened the glass doors of the dinnerware cupboard to get a plate, forgot to close them. When my wife came down to get her breakfast, she called loudly for me, both to announce that another feathered friend had dropped in to join us and also to seek my help in rescuing the frightened creature, who was frantically crashing against the glass in the cupboard, feathers flying everywhere.
Some people have bats in their belfry and skeletons in their cupboards. We have doves. I really felt for the bird since I have nearsightedly walked into more than one glass door in my time and, in fact, I understand that when the Reverend Wesley Hall, former West Indies fast bowler and Board President got his first “hat-trick” against Pakistan in 1959, he too did the same. In other words, as James Herriot (pseudonym of veterinary surgeon Alf Wright) said, all creatures great and small . . . .
This particular creature was a ground dove but, as his behaviour demonstrated, clearly not a common one. It had entered the kitchen in search of my wife Indranie and food although not necessarily in that order.
My wife is an animal magnet. While one of my friends insists this is the reason she married me, she claims that the real reason is that she collects antiques. As a priceless object d’art I have nothing to say. The animal part explains the birds. Wherever we have lived the birds abound and thrive.
In Belize, the kiskadees used to knock on the skylight and if Indranie paid them no heed, would come to the window next to our breakfast table and hit the glass repeatedly and noisily with their beaks.
Every morning Indranie unfailingly puts out bread, fruits, including bananas, and syrup (sugar water) for her birds. But even before she puts out the vital supplies, they are already gathered, perching on the window frame, on the fence, in the trees or pacing the lawn anxiously. What is really disheartening is that I moved into the house months before Indranie came from Antigua to join me. When I first moved in, I put out some bananas to feed the many birds I saw scrounging around the neighbourhood.
The bananas remained on the ground for days. Not a bird around. I could hear them saying “Cheep, cheep” so I put some fresh bananas out to show that I was not as much a skinflint as they thought. Still no response. The crows particularly, perhaps because they are among the brightest of God’s creatures, made unpleasant noises when I passed near them and used my car for target practice and to show their disdain. I did not go so far as to say, “The only good bird is a dead bird” but my meals most of the time consisted mainly of chicken. Jerk chicken.
Of course, the birds were here from the moment Indranie arrived.
Those who did not give a fig for my bananas were everywhere in and around the house. The bananaquits showed that whoever named them had got it wrong because they never stopped eating or drinking.
There is a scene in the movie, Home Alone 2, where an old lady is covered almost entirely by pigeons. I can see this happening to Indranie and I believe she would revel in it. It does not matter what kind of bird – parrots, for instance, love her and would hang around her. Me, they attack without mercy. One used to sharpen his beak on the concrete wall and look fiercely at me while doing so. Dogs that bark madly and try to burst their leashes to get at me, grovel at her feet and lick her hands.
We’re moving soon but not so far away that the birds would be unable to find us. We started to take some of our stuff across to the new place and I swear that one of the Blue Jeans perched on the gate there winked at me and then let out a loud “steups!”
• Tony Deyal was last seen saying he saw a strange bird stealing food from the crows and giving it to the little bananaquits. It was a Robin Hood.