DEAR CHRISTINE, A COUNTRY’S success depends on how it treats women. I made a mistake when I married a man who complained of knowing his father when he was 15 years old.
When we were courting, he told me we were the same age. Years later he told me and my family he was joking and I was eight years his senior.
He realised I was loving, kind, caring, considerate, compromising and a good listener. He cried and told sad stories of how his father treated his mother and then left her.
We have lived together for over 32 years and have two children. He said he was going to get as much money as he possibly could by telling people sad stories, crying and then laughing when he got what he wanted.
According to him, “everybody has a price” and “all men are liars – not to be trusted”. He said women “would never understand how a man thinks”. He also said he “tells them what they want to hear”, looking at them through his thick glasses to make them believe he loves them. He said “women are so desperate” he could get anyone of them.
He’s a trickster
I also smile when I see how he tricks his powerful and powerless “friends”.
His brother gave him a “country house” which he keeps for dates. He also uses the Internet to meet women; dated about 2 000 during our 32 years, possessed many email addresses, and told women we were not married. He runs around with women of all ages.
He blames his workmates and friends for the horrible things he does to us and tells us what he would do if we ever talked about his abuse. He is a dictator and is very proud to let others know how he abuses us.
When we met, my aunt sent US$1 000 so I could learn to drive. I gave him the money to hold and he got his driver’s licence. My brother gave him his first car and my father gave him the second car. I gained my driver’s licence a few years ago.
Seeks pity
The other cars were bought with my money, the children’s money and his money because he controls all of the money which comes into the house.
He partially destroyed the last car by leaving it in the car park and removing its parts. I retrieved the car and with the help of relatives, put it back on the road. Although he has money to buy any vehicle, he is now trying to get the car from me.
He pretends he has to walk or catch bus so people would pity him. He said he “meets women of all ages” when he walks.
He leaves and returns when he is ill. One example was when he was suffering from diarrhoea. He feels proud to be a failure at his marriage and continues to get his male and female friends to harass me whenever they see me.
He dyes his hair, uses hair growth products and exercises extensively to get a larger upper body and legs to look desirable to women. I never complained about his appearance but his outside women complained about his partial baldness, thick glasses, small ears, “the rider” in his mouth and his body structure.
I helped him to secure his current job and to see the light. He repaid me by continually trying to destroy me.
Confidentiality, conscience and morals are things of the past. Everybody supports people who are liars; the “brown-skin”, the wealthy, the powerful and the people who can get favours done for them.
– R.B.
Dear R.B.,
You have “said a roll”, as some people would say, but I am not quite sure why you wrote this letter. Nevertheless, I have printed it with the hope that by reading it, you’d be relieved of any stress you may be under. As you would realise, it had be edited significantly before it was printed.
You have had nothing good to say about your husband. If he is as bad as you claimed – and perhaps he is – why are you still married to him? That’s the question you must ask yourself. It just does not make sense that you would remain in such a toxic, clearly unhealthy relationship for 32 years. Check yourself and do something about this sham of a marriage.
Hmmmm!
– CHRISTINE