Monday, April 22, 2024

THE LOWDOWN: Why we’re junk

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I MEAN, YOU ONCE COULD go to three or more places to get plastic drivers’ licences. Now it’s only in The Pine with mile long lines. Ambulances are dropping emergency cases there because you’re just as likely to get attended to as at the Casualty.

Chris Sinckler has obviously never handled BRA. At Holetown, lines are long, everybody cursing the Dems. Six shiny new computer stations, two cashiers if you’re lucky. People want to pay Government money and they’re saving on staff? While hundreds of Government workers do absolutely nothing?

Water is a disaster. The judicial system at a standstill. Vicious murderers are being daily set free because Government realises out here is much rougher punishment than Dodds. One cane cart turned over and half the year’s crop was lost. Schools shutting down for “smells”.

The thing is, we want this Government to succeed. Maybe we feel a do-little government is better than one which would condone law-breaking, to wit, illegal squatters who live and crap over our main water supply area.

Thus the PM got the police to put a siren on a litterbug and the country went into orgasms of ecstasy, columnists praising him, one white woman wanting to kiss him. “This are the good things that Froonie did,” Duke Check will sing.

And the answers seem so simple. Fix the licence cameras. Give BRA staff. Get our African friends to send in 20 judges, 20 more Sharia type from Suleiman Bulbulia. Now that CARICOM and CSME are dead, scrap the CCJ whose Myrie ruling is denying our sovereign right to control immigration.

(By the way, Ms Myrie is now “Mrs Myrie-Pusey!”, taking her new husband’s name. She’s even talking of coming back here. Imagine how Bajans will flock to see Shanique Myrie-Pusey, famous throughout the Caribbean.)

Put the Hutchinson fellow in charge of water and heed the call from UWI’s Adrian Cashman for a national water management plan. Forget desal. Bring back a terrible levy on unused sugar lands and let’s get the foreign exchange flowing again.

The school situation is simple. This is involuntary sabotage. Teachers and pupils are so bored with the junk now taught that their immune systems are producing noxious smells. Bring back the proper hymns we had, proper poetry, maths. Instead of abstruse music theory, give the children recorders and cuatros and let them make music.

But we have two big problems: first, our political system. No amount of tinkering with republic will change that. What is a “good” representative? One who buys drinks for the fellows, right? Comes to your dances and funerals. Gets you a job in an already over-staffed government department. Which of our 30 MPs would you put to run your 2-door shop? Yet you put them to run a country?

Secondly, democratic socialism. A Cave Hill student of Comrade Ralph used to explain this to me every week. The state will take my land and give it to the masses.

The main theory works like this. Suppose Food-Van Sandra wakes every fore day morning to prepare food her customers love. Business booms and she makes a profit. Meanwhile Pokita Treadwell ain’t working for nobody. She’s a party girl, fires the legs, ends up with eight children that the 14 fathers won’t support. Socialism dictates that the state take Sandra’s money (from each according to her ability) and give it to Pokita (to each according to her needs).

Socialism is about taxing the productive to give freenesses to the masses. As someone said: “those who work for a living are far outnumbered by those who vote for a living”. The socialists care nothing if their country is rated as “junk”. Portia in Jamaica, they say, was wrong to try to clear the country’s debt and deservedly lost.

Yutes, not going to UWI may be a blessing in disguise. It may take longer than getting a UWI degree, but try instead to get a Police Certificate of Character. And something certifying you’re free of AIDS (Any Involvement with Democratic Socialism.)

Employers are looking for honesty, diligence, not outmoded socialist claptrap. And on-the-job training will fit you for anything.

• Richard Hoad is a farmer and social commentator.

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