STANTON GILKES could not bury his mother or even attend her funeral because he was in prison.
The heartbroken man visited Ione Dorothy Gilkes’ grave on Wednesday for the first time in the St Barnabas Church graveyard, more than a month after she was interred there.
His mother, who was in her 70s, was struck and killed by a vehicle along The Pine and St Barnabas stretch of the ABC Highway on February 6.
Controversy soon followed as the initial reports indicated she was crossing the jersey barriers but family and friends did not believe that. They said she had a bad hip and would not have tried anything so reckless, suggesting instead the woman could have been fleeing from someone across the dark road.
Gilkes spent the funeral, which took place on February 25, at the pleasure of Her Majesty as two days earlier he had been arrested and jailed for defaulting on child maintenance.
“I didn’t make it to the funeral because the marshals arrested me on February 23 for child maintenance arrears. I spent 43 days in jail and I got out [Tuesday] and the first thing I did (Wednesday) was come here to see my mother’s grave,” he said.
The father of four, who owed maintenance on one child said the court and the marshals were unmoved by his pleas to attend the funeral or to at least have time to view the body beforehand.
“I’m feeling sad, hurt, depressed, annoyed and angry – all at the same time. The way they go about it is not fair; I think they should send a summons first then hold you at the court but they can come for you and arrest you any time, anywhere and for any amount,” he said.
A check with acting prison public relations officer John Lythcott revealed the prison did allow prisoners to at least view the body of a deceased member of the immediate family but there had to be a written request from the family.
“Our policy is that people can get to the funeral home to at least see the body but nobody can go to the funerals any more. We used to allow people to go to funerals but we had a problem with them misbehaving but all this has to start with the family. If we had that information, then we would have arranged it,” Lythcott said.
“The family has to write us and tell us about the death of the person and we get our counsellor to notify the person [about the death], then we can arrange for a time to see the body when the rest of the family is not there.”
Lythcott said, even if the time frame was close, it should not take two days for a request to come through and they would have worked to suit.
“We are not animals – if a man mother is dead, we would allow him to at least see the body; we would not stop that. This situation sounds out of the way,” he said, adding he would look into the case.
Gilkes admitted his family did not write such a request but said the time was insufficient for them to do so especially since they did not know about the process in the first place, adding the prison was just trying to “cover their tracks”.
As for the arrears, Gilkes admitted he knew he was behind on his weekly $50 payments but said he had paid $1 910 of the $3 100 in November and thought he would have had more time to pay since he was not working at the time.
“I never missed a court date, it’s not like I would run. I didn’t get to see the reason I went to jail or what I owed, nothing showing me any details. I told them I would come after the funeral but they wouldn’t listen,” he said.
Now self-employed, Gilkes said there was a silver lining in all this as he now thought there was a higher reason why he went to jail, which he said was a “horrible” experience.
“I want to start the Ione Gilkes Foundation to help prevent others from going to jail for child maintenance arrears. An organisation which either pays off the debt or find the men work so they can pay for themselves. I think that is why I had to go to jail – to find a purpose,” he said.