Dear Christine,
I LOVE MY daughter very much but it seems that other people are getting between us. She is 13 years old, but does not live with me. We see each other one week in every few months.
The last time she came was nearly two months ago and her behaviour changed from rejection towards me to cursing and disobedience. She is still special to me but I am concerned that at her age she cannot read or spell the way a child her age should be able to do.
I tried to get her to live with me but every time I got her for more than two weeks, the other members of the family will start trouble and she will have to go with them.
One day her father came at my place and cursed me. The man I lived with left because of his behaviour.
Christine, my major concern is that my daughter cannot read or spell. It saddens me because I want her to be literate.
I don’t feel her father and his family love her as they should. Why I say so is because I told her family my daughter needed somebody to teach her how to read and write and their response has been nothing short of dismissive.
In her father’s family there are a number children who have passed for higher secondary schools. I felt at least she should have passed for another school but she hasn’t.
I also feel her father is stopping her from living with me because I left him, but I never stopped loving my girl child.
Christine, there is so much more I can tell you that is causing me to be concerned about my daughter. This whole situation is causing me to feel depressed. I want to be happy.
– M
Dear M,
I find it very sad when parents, even though separated from each other, can’t find it in their hearts to work together for the good of their child or children.
There seems to be no good communication between you and the father. The only thing I can suggest is that you seek help from a professional or cleric in helping you two to communicate in ways that would benefit your child.
That child needs encouragement and support. If she is backward with her schoolwork, some lessons from a caring teacher ought to help.
Not all children are bright at the beginning – some are slower than others but with the right help they get there in the end.
– CHRISTINE