Tuesday, April 23, 2024

PUDDING AND SOUSE: Politico not horsing around come election


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A POLITICO from a St Michael riding, who has been flogged twice at the polls, seems to have secured the services of a horse to get him past the polls first in the next general elections.

Residents say they were shocked when they saw the horse under his tent being groomed by some youngsters, seemingly in preparation for the big day.

Since the average Joe would have no idea as to when polling day would be, the horse’s services may have been secured in the early in the event that a surprise date is announced.

They say the politico, who is intent on ousting a man who likes to speak and is carrying a ton of problems, is satisfied that after much praying and fasting that this time appears to be his and he will leave no elbow room for any mishaps.

Those in the know say that the wads of money and promises were not enough on the last two occasions, so he has dropped some weight after the vision about the horse and he will be riding it himself come polling day.

But the horse, a donkey lookalike, hand-me-down and retiree from a grass court stable, has never won a race in its life and residents expect it to be true to form this time around. Even the average Joe believes that the politico’s fate will be the same. Giddeup, donkey, oops, we mean, horsie!


Two-faced pastor

 THE congregation of a certain church are up in arms with their pastor.

They say that he is always judging them and insisting that his way is the only way to the straight and narrow path that leads to salvation.

And he has insisted that those who join any bands on Kadooment Day will not see the face of the Almighty. But conversely, he is entertaining the fact that a male baptised member of his congregation is having an affair with a female member of the church.

They want him to stop judging them and focus on the upliftment of God’s Word since, he nor them, is perfect.


What water ban!

A MAN who goes to church seven days a week has been seen washing his car seven days a week – and with a hose.

The long man, who loves to drive, refuses to adhere to the Barbados Water Authority’s water restriction guidelines.

The taxi driver, who works for an upscale hotel on the West Coast, is adamant that just as the Water Authority has its job to do, so too does he. And argues that it would take more than a directive to get him to put up his hose since his business of ferrying tourists around in a clean hosed-down car comes first.

But angry residents in an area with a primary school say if it wasn’t so difficult to get through on hotline to the complaints section of the authority, that by now he would have been washing off cars in St Philip, afro and all.


Cussing six-year-old

HE’S NO OLDER than six. But he swears at and insults grown people in broad daylight.

The domestic situation is such that the entire family abuse each other. From grandmother to grandchild curse each other from head to toe.

They live in a flood-prone district near where people are taught to drive, and seemingly swear based on this youngster’s actions. One woman wearing tights while the six-year-old was passing could not believe her ears when the child described her privates as the fattest he had ever seen. But how does that match up to the uncle telling the grandmother rude things?

This corrupt family, callers say, needs Child Care Board intervention.


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