DEAR CHRISTINE, HOW DO YOU deal with a situation where three’s a crowd, so to speak?
I have been dating a young man for the past two years. He tells me he loves me but the reality is that he is still married. He says he is married only because of the mortgage situation as well as health insurance purposes.
He and his wife appear to be good friends. They have a son together and a granddaughter. Where do I fit into the scheme of things?
He visits me at least twice a week and we have wonderful times together, but he never sleeps over. I have never met his son, granddaughter or any members of his family, although I have met some of his friends. On the other hand, he has met my entire family and even relatives from abroad.
He seems to have no urgency introducing me to his family – even since two years have passed.
I know that he is living two lives and is happy in both worlds. I honestly love him and I am hoping he will make me a greater part of his life and I won’t have to be sitting around waiting for things to happen for us or between us.
Do you have any suggestions?
I have plenty of suggestions but I am not sure if you’ll like them. First and foremost, you seem to be overlooking two major points. One, this this man is already married, which means technically, he is off the market.
Secondly, he still lives in the same home as his wife. That’s another point. They probably even share the same bed and have a great relationship. Why he has not introduced you to his family is quite clear. He has a wife, child and granddaughter.
In short, this man already has a family and he is not looking to bail out at any time soon. Can’t you see that for yourself? Must a photograph be taken of the family and shown to you for you to see the reality of things.
Come one, you must be more sensible than you’re making yourself believe!
It’s clear. He’s married and he cares about his wife and family. He is not just living two lives; he’s simply eating his cake and having it to.
Don’t wait for him to give up his life. You’re the one who will have to walk away – or run, for that matter.