DEAR CHRISTINE, WHY ARE EVIL PEOPLE allowed to become parents? Why are people who are selfish, spiteful, immature, and hateful made responsible for a life?
Why, Christine, why?
Thanks to my parents, I will spend the rest of my life trying to undo the damage of years of abuse and neglect.
The amount of money I have to spend on therapy and a chronic medical condition I have because of their negligence and indifference is unbelievable.
The number of jobs I’ve lost, performed poorly at or the number of sick days I’ve had to take because of the stress and depression at home is unbelievable.
Employers don’t have time to care. Most people don’t understand or simply can’t be bothered to, so you’re labelled and criticised, which just adds to the pressure.
I’m currently in a new job – a dream job, one I very much love. Yet here I am once again, depressed at work or calling in sick. I would be so devastated to lose this job. I’m still on probation and I need a place to move to, so I can’t afford to lose this job. It makes no sense fighting to get better only to come home every day to hateful, unkind people. I need to get out.
I could fill this newspaper with horror stories of what I’ve been through at the hands of my own family but I don’t have the time or energy. What galls me the most is that on the outside, my parents are so kind, nice and caring to the neighbours, the co-workers, other people’s children, the congregation . . . but at home they’re hell on earth. So nobody believes you when you tell them what you’re going through. All they see is an ungrateful child who’s been given so much opportunity and done next to nothing with it.
My family constantly laughs in my face because they always win. I lose because nobody believes me and they know it.
I’ve run away, contemplated and attempted suicide. The only thing I haven’t done – but thought about – is getting married just to leave home. I won’t exchange one prison for another.
Right now I’m concentrating on doing my best at my job and finding a comfortable, affordable place of my own. I’ve rented before, but spent so much money doing so and have nothing to show for it. I really would prefer not to.
– M.T.
Dear M.T.,
Please don’t be angry with me when I advise you to start counting your blessings.
You are evidently an intelligent person, employed at that, but you’re letting your family depress you, which of course will hamper your job and your independence.
I do sympathise with you over the hurt you’ve had to endure at the hands of your family, but you must make every effort not to let them triumph over you by destroying your peace of mind. They are not worthy of it.
I hope you will find an affordable place to live. The important thing is that you apply yourself to your job and not let your uncaring family pull you down.
– CHRISTINE