EVERY TIME CROP OVER comes around I remember my ex-girlfriend. She was without doubt the sexiest, most beautiful, fun-loving and adventurous woman I was ever involved with.
But she was also the worst cheater.
Crop Over always reignites these thoughts because it was during this time some years ago that I finally realised what she was really like. And though the entire affair left me bitter, I look back at that episode as the proverbial kick in the butt that pushed me to start my now successful business.
So though I once hated her and all my former bosses for making a fool out of me, I realise her actions prodded me onto my present path of achievement.
The truth is, I deserved what happened to me because I failed to see and hear what she was telling me about herself for the near seven months we were together. It never once registered in my head that she was telling me who she was and what she was like. In fact, nothing about how I met her, even the way she was always very guarded about her personal life, sent off any alarm bells in my head until I caught her cheating.
That’s why I said I deserved what I went through.
From day one I should have realised I had met a very promiscuous person when I was introduced to her at a bar by an old schoolmate. Though she was in her work uniform, her pretty face, fine locs hairstyle and shapely body made me say to myself, ‘wow’.
That ‘wow’ turned into unbelievable as we spoke on a number of topics that night. She was knowledgeable about current affairs and very articulate. Most important, too, she had a sense of humour and knew just what to say to make everyone laugh when the arguments became somewhat heated.
What drew me to her was that she was just not another pretty face with a lovely body but little brain. She was the real deal – beauty and brains – and I wanted her.
I did not have to wait long. It was a weeknight that December and around 10 she told me I was taking her home as she had to work in the morning. So we left.
Caught offguard
On reaching home she invited me upstairs. It was a neat and tidy one-bedroom unit that was as well appointed as she was. Closing the door behind me, she said with a laugh that she wanted to see if I was as much a man as I was trying to tell her with my stares.
That caught me totally offguard. I was embarrassed but at the same time happy that she had noticed how I was sizing her up. Truth be told though, I was speechless. I never anticipated this.
To make a long story short, we took a shower together and afterwards she made me the happiest man in the world. I never had sex as good as that before or since. That night sealed it for me; I wanted her in my life.
Most of the nights following that, we spent together. I would meet her wherever she was and took her home. I was like a child with a new toy; I could not get enough of this woman. She was absolutely terrific, so much so that the more of her I got, the more I wanted.
But I had a problem. I already had someone in my life. We had been together for about a year when I met my new friend. I liked her a lot as she was a nice person, but she couldn’t compare in any way to my new squeeze. She suspected something was wrong as for nearly two weeks I never once dropped by and had stopped calling.
New squeeze
When I finally got around to her it was two days before Christmas. Annoyed, she asked if there was someone else that had me so busy. I calmly told her yes and that I was sorry. Then I left her house.
It all happened so fast that she didn’t have time to react. She just sat there staring at me in disbelief. Later she would harass me daily on the phone and tell me what goes around comes around. She hated me, and had every reason to, but I didn’t care because I was having the best time of my life and nothing or no one was going to stop that.
For the next few months my life was a perpetual unfolding dream coming to life. I had a lovely woman who gave me some great sex, and I was doing well at work. During these months she would sometimes work late, or would go out at night with girlfriends, but I would always pick her up afterwards. Most of the times she would be tired, but when I questioned her she would always say you know the sort of woman I am.
I took that to mean she was loyal to me. Boy, was I wrong.
She was actually fooling around with others while she was with me, but I only realised this when I had not seen or could not get her on the phone for two days straight. I went by her house that night and saw my boss’ car parked outside. I began beating on the door, which created a scene so she quickly opened. She and my boss – whom I had introduced her to weeks earlier – both told me off. I felt like a real fool.
So I quit my job, formed my own business and got on with my life. For months I hated her and my boss. Then I remembered her warnings: “you know the woman I am.”
As I said, I deserved what I got. I ill-treated someone who was good and honest to me. I never should done that because of sex – for at the end of the day that was all that relationship was really all about.
