LIFE TOUGH, but not because of life itself, life is simply tough because of the choices we make, how we react to situations and how we are treated by each other.
For example, some people have a tough life because of the colour of their skin, the money they have or don’t have, and even whether they are male or female.
However for me the toughest part of life is when you ask women one particular question, any woman too, it could be your mother, sister, friend, lover or any other relation.
No matter how nice and calm you ask this question, no matter how much love you put into it, you will almost always get the same answer.
What is the question you ask? Go to a woman you know, look her in the eyes and with your sweetest voice ask, “what do you want to eat?” I can guarantee the answer will “man, I don’t know, you choose”.
It is bare trouble from here now, cause just because she tells you to choose doesn’t mean that you actually have freedom of choice. Every suggestion from you now gine be problematic.
Yuh suggest pizza and yuh gine hear “mmm no, too much flour.” Then yuh suggest a Caesar salad and yuh gine hear “No, I look like a rabbit?”
Then if you make the mistake and suggest something simple that she may consider “anybody food”, it over.
I hear a girl ask a man a time “I look like one ah you loose friends?”
Look, a time myself and some friends were out and about, hunger hit and they needed to eat.
Now imagine three women having to decide on one thing to eat.
I kid you not, de people tek so long to decide that an air lock hit me and I feel my gallbladder start to tremble.
You know one ah dem air locks dat does mek yuh cuss yuh ancestors? Ting, de light start to guh dim and I swear it was an eclipse.
It was one ah dem air locks that so cruel yuh can’t even stand up straight and yuh got to breathe slight so as to ease de pain.
So look at me now walking through town like the Hunchback of Notre Dame. If you doubt me ask me.
By the time we reached the food establishment the only thing I could order was a hot cup of tea.
Meanwhile everyone else smiling and ordering food while I am in the corner curl up like somebody now beat me.
Today’s lesson? Eat before yuh leff home.
I am Toni-Ann “Acka” Johnson. Love, peace and Mazola Corn Oil.
Toni-Ann Johnson is an actress versed in the area of comedy. Email: toniann.johnson@gmail.com
