DEAR CHRISTINE, I have been seeing a man for the past 13 years and Christine, I don’t see him for seven months on a stretch; sometimes for a whole year. This man is married.
If he comes to see me, it’s because I beg him to do so. I also have a child for him. Our child attends a secondary school and this man never gives me a cent for myself and next to nothing for the child at month-end.
It has now been four months since I last saw him. I keep calling on the phone asking him to come and see me, but he is always finding an excuse. I have tried so many times to forget him but I just can’t bring myself to do so.
Please help me.
– L
Dear L,
I wish with all my heart that I could help you. You must care very deeply for this man who neglects you the way he does. I can only urge you to try and transform some of that caring to yourself.
You are hurting yourself by hanging on. You should be reaching out to new friends. Waiting at home is not going to help the situation. I know you just cannot walk out on the streets looking for friends, but there must be some church you can attend and become a part of the caring congregation.
You might also consider joining an organisation or charity where you will have the opportunity to take part in programmes which involve helping people. You’ve really got to keep on trying to get over this obsession.
You can start by not calling and begging him to come and see you. If he has not done so as yet, he’ll hardly leave his wife to come to you. Face this fact, however harsh it may be, and free yourself.
You don’t even have to tell him you’re ending the so-called relationship. I would think from his indifference it is long over.
– CHRISTINE
