DEAR CHRISTINE, I would like you to help me solve a problem. I have been having an affair with a man for the past four years. He insists that he loves me but I have my doubts, as there is another woman in his life.
When he is with this woman he pays me no attention. Whatever we plan, she can change it.
For instance, the two of us were planning to attend an event when he called to say he could not make it because he had to do something at home.
I went along on my own. When I got there, the first thing I saw was him and the woman. This was the first time in years that he ever planned to take me out, and this is what happened to our arrangement.
All he wants all the time is for me to just go from work to home, say nothing to anyone, be his bed partner and help him with money whenever he needs it.
When they are together, they don’t even care to hide. Please tell me what to do.
– E.T.
Dear E.T.,
The question here is, what do you want to do? Do you want to go from work to home, not speak to anyone, be ready when he wants you in bed, and willing to fork out the money you work for whenever he needs it?
Of course, you don’t. Not for this man who is openly involved with someone else. He strikes me as a bad investment of time, money and heartache.
It is probably true you cannot see happiness without him, but this will only last for a while. Once he is out of your life, you will be able to look around for someone who is more worthy of the love you have to offer.
Some folks think it is better to have some sort of love rather than no love at all. I do not believe in that. I don’t in the first place call the treatment he gives you love. You meet his physical and financial needs and that’s about it.
I think the first thing you should do is go out on your own if you want to. He has no right to control your life while he runs around the way he does. Love yourself a little bit more than you presently do.
– CHRISTINE
