DEAR CHRISTINE , I am a regular reader of your column. I never thought that I would be writing to you, but here I am.
I reside overseas and I am having problems with my boyfriend. Things are happening to us that I never expected would happen. It all comes as a total shock. He is my greatest love, although my family and friends had told me he was not good enough for me. On hindsight, perhaps they were telling the truth. It can hurt so much at times.
Christine, I have given this man everything. My faith, love, understanding, trust and thoughtfulness have all been for him. I did everything to make him happy and now all we do is quarrel and fight. I cannot get it understood. I told him if I am doing anything wrong to let me know.
Whatever I am doing wrong I want to correct, but he would not tell me. Christine, I need your advice.
A.D
Dear A.D:
What you are doing wrong is that you have given too much of yourself to someone who does not appreciate you. From here and from the little you’ve told me, another thing you’re doing wrong is trying to hold on to someone who is making you unhappy, and perhaps causing you some sleepless nights. If you are satisfied that you are doing your best and it is not getting the relationship anywhere, then you should start trying to think of a way to get out of it.
It is not going to be easy, but it seems to me it’s always better to spend some time hurting with the certainty of one day feeling better once you’ve made the break from a futile relationship, than to hang on to the misery it seems to offer.
If your boyfriend is not suffering from some kind of a depression and is just a meanie, then you be a survivor. Scoot and don’t look back.
CHRISTINE
