DEAR CHRISTINE, I am a regular reader of your column and I would like to congratulate you on your efforts to help people who write to you.
Christine, I got myself involved with a married man for four years. For the first three years everything was going very well, but now the relationship is suddenly deteriorating. I have learnt from personal experience that a young lady should not get involved with anyone who is married.
I have a friend who has a married man who is way older than she is. Christine, I don’t think this girl should be friends with this man. It is not that she is getting anything out of it, because if she asks him for anything, he just ignores her.
All this man does is uses her body and has his wife put down in a gold box. If this man had any good intentions for this girl, when she is having problems at her home, he would look for somewhere to put her to lay her head.
Another thing Christine, if this man has house bills to pay, he would always call my friend and insist that she goes and pays them. I think she should stop being this married man’s fool. If he wants someone to use, he should use his wife.
– B.H.
Dear B.H.,
While some people will wisely learn from an early lesson, there are others who will take much longer. Maybe it is because they are hoping the man will break up his home and come to them altogether. This does not happen very often.
Like you, I don’t see the point in your friend staying with her married man when he is not providing for her in any real way. She, from all accounts, is only his convenience.
When one is in love, one does not want to appear to be too mercenary, but the fact remains that practical things have to be taken care of. If the man you are giving your all to does not care enough for you to provide you with some of the essentials of life, you ought to really try and get out of the purposelessness of the affair.
I don’t suppose what you think she ought to do really matters that much to her if she is in love with him. I am sure that during the first three years of your relationship with your partner, no one could have convinced you how things would end up.
We don’t all learn from other people’s experiences. We sometimes have to feel the pinch for ourselves.
– CHRISTINE
