DEAR CHRISTINE, I was living with a man for seven years and he left me for someone else. I was so lonely, I soon picked up with another person who was after me for a long time.
The trouble is, he is married, but said he would try to get a divorce. This is three years since and he is not anywhere nearer to the divorce. In fact, things are bad with us.
He quarrels with me a lot and I told him he is picking on me to leave him. Friends told me they have seen him with other girls, but I dare not ask him about them, or it will only mean a cursing for me.
Once I did ask, but he denied it. He was not altogether faithful with his wife even before me, so I feel what I am hearing is true.
Last week, after another argument, he said we must split up for a little while. I did not take him seriously, but he moved out his clothes and stopped coming soon after.
The last thing he said was: “We can both think things over and wait and see what the separation will do.”
What do you think, Christine?
– J.A.
Dear J.A.,
I think this trial separation is the beginning of the end. With his record of unfaithfulness to his wife, I doubt very much you have what it takes to stop him from running around.
I would not wait for his return. I doubt this will happen, unless it is for some one-night stand.
Surely you value yourself more than the means of giving him pleasure without some sort of commitment. If you are hoping for a personal relationship, don’t look to the married men to provide it no matter how much they talk about a divorce. That’s all it usually is . . . just talk.
– CHRISTINE