I CONFESS: Women are much better cheaters

MEN ARE ALWAYS cast as players, manipulators and cheaters. In the grand scheme of relationships, many men have lived up to this reputation.

But the reality is that there are countless women who can outdo men in this behaviour.

In fact, several women are more manipulative and are far better cheaters than any man could ever be.

Given what I personally suffered through and the stories I heard from other men I have gotten to know, I can say this without fear of contradiction. 

I got to learn just what women can do through a support group which used to meet to talk about the things we suffered. Believe me when I tell you that based on the stories that men recounted, and their occasional crying in recalling their experiences, more women than you would expect are guilty of some nasty shenanigans that would make you hang your head in shame if you found out.

Imagine a woman told her husband she was going on a shopping spree in Miami with her girlfriends. He drove her to the airport on the morning of departure and they all did their tickets at the airline counter together. They also went through security together. And they all boarded the same plane to Miami together. But what the husband never knew was that his wife met her man in Miami and the two of them drove to Orlando together and went to Disneyworld.

Had no idea

He only found out about this nearly two years later when his wife’s best friend spilled the beans. His wife and her best friend had a big bust up after his wife refused to lend her money to pay her rent, as the woman had not worked in months. The church-going man said he had no idea about what his wife was up to as he always trusted her and never saw anything or heard anything that made him suspect her behaviour was anything but decent. 

However, when the woman began to relate the different things his wife had done, where, when and with whom, and the things she had told him at the time so as not to arouse any suspicion, he immediately realised he was sleeping with a stranger. Imagine, she had seven different men on him in the four years they were married. That news nearly killed him.

The thing is that when he confronted his wife about what he was told, she cursed him and told him if he didn’t like it just leave as she was tired hiding her true self anyway. As she earned more than him and was the one who had bought the land and taken out the mortgage, she got the house. He walked away from that marriage a bitter man, hating women and being sorry he did not have the courage to harm her.

She had his child

My situation was different from his, but was still awful in that my wife not only had a man on me, but had his child and sought to pass it off as mine. When I found out it made me realise why she did not want to have sex certain times, why she preferred going on holidays alone, and why I could not seem to make her happy no matter what I did.

My wife and this man were lovers from teenagers until he went away when she was about 23. They kept in touch and she always believed they would eventually marry and raise a family. However, two years after leaving Barbados, the guy told her he was getting married. That devastated her and in anger at him she picked up with me. We had a sensational love life. I never knew that much happiness until I met her, so I decided there was no way I was going to let her go. I popped the question and seven months later she was my wife.

I was not the only one duped by her. My mother loved the fact that though she worked, she enjoyed cooking and was fussy about keeping a house spick and span.

So as far as I was concerned I had a gem. A good looking, sexy woman who loved me. Our idyllic life did not last beyond four months of our marriage. After that she was still nice but sometimes seemed withdrawn and unhappy. I later found out it was around that time the guy started communicating with her again and telling her he only married to secure his citizenship status. However, he missed her and still had feelings for her.  

They continued communicating and it led to her eventually going away on holiday alone months later. When she returned she was a different person. We were still intimate, but it became infrequent and she was never as enthusiastic like when we first got together. Then the quarrels started over the slightest of things and she would stop speaking to me and ban me from sex. At one time I did not touch her for nearly a month so I warned her I would get someone else, to which she calmly responded to do what I had to do. 

I never did cheat on her, but after that statement she insisted I used a condom and I actually had to fight her on a number of occasions to have sex without one. But little did I know all of this was because she wanted to keep herself for her man.

Then about 30 months into our marriage her baby bump started to show. It appeared about four months after she had returned from overseas on holiday. Since we had sex a few times without a condom after that holiday, I assumed she was pregnant for me. I was over the moon. I was so happy and so was my mother as this would have been her first grandchild.

But from the time the baby born I knew something was wrong. It was too dark – we are both high brown – so it didn’t carry our complexion at all. The next thing is that it did not look like either of us. As it turned out it was the spitting image of the man. Anyway, I hid my misgivings and treated this child as my own. 

When the child was about seven months old my wife waited until I left home for work and packed up her stuff and left the house. Later she called and told me we were history as she was in love with someone else, and the child was the man’s – not mine.

That’s what I went through. That’s why I maintain that women are more manipulative and are far better cheaters than any man ever could be.