PEOPLE WORSHIP MONEY too much.
They often give in to their desire for cash and lie, cheat and betray family, friends and spouses.
Throughout the years I have been hurt by people I loved and trusted because they befriended me so they could use my access to cash to their advantage. Because of this, I found it very difficult to care for anyone, until my present relationship.
From the time I was a girl growing up my father warned me about friends. He would always preach to me that a “friend in need is a friend indeed” – meaning that when someone believes you can help them with something, they tend to become friendly with you. However, a true friend is one who is there for you when you really need assistance with no strings attached.
Daddy warned me about family too. He used to say they were worse than so-called friends because you could not choose who they were or easily ignore them, given the “blood” connection. But they could be just as dishonest and manipulative.
Of course, like a typical teenager, I could not care less about my father’s warnings and advice. I thought I understood people pretty well and could tell whenever anyone was trying to take advantage of me. But I was so wrong. Because of this I fell prey to family and friends who saw the money I inherited as their chance to enrich themselves at my expense.
My first nasty encounter was with my family after my father had died. I had just turned 18, had full access to the thousands he left me, and with my mother living overseas after divorcing daddy years earlier, I was alone. So when my uncle suggested I rent out daddy’s house and come to live at him with his family, that seemed a good idea. It seemed that he was trying to look out for me. I jumped at the chance as I would not be alone and would be making some good money from rent.
For the first few weeks everything was fine, but slowly my uncle, his wife and my cousins began pressuring me to give them money to help run the house, or borrowing a few dollars for their personal use. They used to ask for it in such a demanding tone that anyone listening would swear it was their money they were asking back for. Despite giving them cash each and every time, when I told them I was short and needed money I never got a cent back, no matter how I explained the urgency of my needs.
The other disgusting thing they also did was to interfere in my personal relationships and try to choose who my friends should be. My uncle and his wife, in particular, encouraged me to bring my closest friends to the house to meet them, and afterwards would have their say about which of them I should be wary of. When I became upset, they used to tell me that they were looking out for my best interest.
I took that treatment for nearly ten months before deciding that I had enough of that, as daddy’s house became vacant. It was not long afterwards that my boyfriend moved in with me, to the condemnation of my family and others. But I did not care as I was in love with him.
As it turned out, though, they were right about him. He was indeed using me, but it took me nearly two years before I realised he was manipulating my feelings to get cash. I only recognised he was up to no good when a woman called to let me know he was cheating on me, and he had dumped her for someone else. She then described two bedrooms in my house to prove she had been in the house with him.
That devastated me. I could not believe he would do that to me. When I confronted him, he actually hit me to make me shut my mouth. My father never ever slapped me, far less gave me a cuff. So I called in the police to get him out.
But what totally floored me was that when he was leaving he told me I was fat and boring, and he only had me for money. Furthermore, he said a man would only want me for money.
That man left me an emotional heap. So I started going out with more and more men just to prove him wrong. But one after one, they just had me sexually, then dumped me.
After nearly two years of that foolishness, I finally came to my senses. I became a hermit, only going to work and coming back home. I kept all people at arm’s length and refused to go out with anyone. It was a rough period emotionally, but a necessary one as I used the time to get to really know who I was and focus on what I wanted to do with my life.
About three years into this process I met someone on a course I was attending. Though I liked him a lot I took the firm decision to take it slow; so I did. I was also determined not to let him know about my healthy financial situation; and I did. Today, after several times putting him through situations to test his love for me, I can say I have finally found someone who cares about me for who I am. I am now confident about my future, but I will never forget my tortuous journey to reach here.
