No matter how prepared you think you are for the death of a loved one, it still comes as a shock, and it still hurts very deeply. – Billy Graham
THERE ARE SEVERAL THINGS in life that can be ignored, but death is not one of them. It is mankind’s current constant companion. According to Ecology Global Network 55.3 million people are taken out of this world by the icy arms of death every year.
Death has been able to “live” for centuries and no human being has been able to “kill” it. It takes the breath away from the biggest and smallest, richest and poorest; strongest and weakest, powerful and powerless.
It does not entertain friends or favourites, nor does it give preferential treatment to those who are famous or infamous. Day after day, week after week, month after month this elusive enemy has successfully entered the domain of many families, fatally assaulting love ones, and never spent one day in solitary confinement for its dreadful deeds.
One thing is certain; this merciless monster is coming for you and you cannot avoid or elude it. You are on its hit list. The Holy Bible implies that in mankind’s lifetime he will have several enemies, some of which he may be able to destroy but death is not one of those foes he has the power to eliminate.
A brief look at this mysterious monster, which many over the centuries have vainly tried to describe, will occupy my attention today. Death has its positives and certainly its negatives.
Death unifies
Although much contention occurs among family members when death occurs, I have seen over the years how death was able to unify some families. I know of family members who were not on speaking terms prior to the death of a loved one but were able to have family gatherings subsequent to the funeral where they laid aside their many differences and started on the road of healing from some deep wounds inflicted on each other over an extended period. When my parents died I did not know I had so many extended family members. I was introduced to several individuals, young and mature, who I was told for the first time were my relatives.
My experience is repeated numerous times by other families as well. Beyond family, several individuals are united with friends they had not seen for years. They are not only able to reminisce on good times but also rekindle the flames of their friendships.
Death also brings together diverse communities from several walks of life. Some of the largest audiences I have ever witnessed were present at funerals. Individuals take the opportunity to express verbally and tangibly their love, care, compassion and sympathy to the bereaved family. Death also has its downside.
Death paralyses
When death strikes, the emotional paralysis that occurs in the lives of individuals cannot be articulated in words. I have evidenced some of the toughest and strongest of individuals buckle emotionally under the powerful sting of death.
In their moments of distress, they sometimes did and said things that were not always characteristic of their normal behaviour. Physically, I have also observed individuals who collapsed under the weight of death when it struck family and friends.
Some have had to get medical attention as a result. The denial, confusion, forgetfulness, intrusive thoughts, fears and anxiety are just a few of the spin-offs that frequently assault the mind when death makes its presence felt. The social impact is not always an easy thing to grapple with when death pounces on a cherished individual.
The social disconnect from mother, father, spouse, children, siblings, colleagues, friends and others with whom intimate relationships were forged over an extended period of time cannot be measured by any stretch of the imagination.
Spiritually many a religious person’s stability is not only shaken but shattered as God is sometimes blamed for the death of their cherished ones. I remember a young man who got so angry with God when his father died that he wanted nothing to do with God or things related to God.
However, when I met him a few years later, he had changed his mind about God and was very active again in his work for God. The question that still remains for many is: can this most feared enemy called death, which has and continues to terrify so many over the centuries, be defeated and perhaps destroyed?
Demise
If death cannot self-destruct and no human being has found the key to unlock the mystery of its ability to “live on” with an almost perfect success record, then the question remains, does death have the final say over the destiny of humanity? Among all the religions in the world, past and present, none apart from Christianity has ever claimed with any confidence that their founder has ever conquered death.
A brilliant Jewish scholar, researcher and leading attorney at law, the Apostle Paul, who confessed that he was once an enemy of Christianity, raised a powerful question in his argument about the question of death and its demise in his first letter to the Corinthians chapter 15.
He implied that with death attacking and defeating mankind in all areas of his existence, this life even with its benefits, offers misery and hopelessness. He then went on to add that when Jesus Christ died and rose from the dead He brought hope and happiness to humanity beyond the power of death and the grave.
The founder of Christianity Himself said in the Book of Revelation 1:17-18: “I died, but see, I am alive forevermore, and I have the keys of {absolute control and victory} over death and of the realm of the dead”. No other religious leader has ever been able to irrefutably make such a claim.
Death therefore for the Christian does not have any final grip on humanity. This last enemy to be destroyed will not be able to do any permanent damage to those who place their faith and confidence in the resurrected power of Jesus Christ. Huey Newton was right when he said: “My fear was not of death itself, but a death without meaning.” How about you?
• Haynesley Griffith is a marriage and family life consultant. Email: griffitharticles@gmail.com