DEAR CHRISTINE, I got engaged last year to a young man. We were friends for some eight years before our engagement, which was soon after his wife died.
Since then I used to do everything for him so that he would be happy. I have never tried to hurt him in any way.
Life was okay until the middle of last year, when one of my friends came between us. Since then our own lives have changed. One day when I could not take it anymore I asked him about her and he emphatically denied that there was anything between them, yet he takes her wherever she wants to go. I must take the bus.
Christine, I love this man and he knows it, yet he continues to hurt me. He says he loves me, but could this be so? If he stays away for any length of time, when he comes back I accept him. Should I take him back?
What do you think I should do?
H.P
Dear H.P,
You are never going to be able to get over this man if you keep accepting him each time it suits him to return. He’ll also not change his ways if he can do as he likes and yet find you waiting.
I think you’re afraid of losing him altogether if you give an ultimatum.
Getting someone else is not the solution if you set about doing so deliberately. But in time, once you’ve accepted the fact that this chap is not serious and he is out of your life, it is quite possible for you to care for someone else for himself and not as a replacement for your present boyfriend.
CHRISTINE