Dear Christine, IT SEEMS like we men never learn. I am now faced with a situation which, I must admit, is of my doing. I left my wife two years ago for a much younger woman. I knew my wife was honest and caring, but I wanted to live it up a bit. Our divorce has been final for six months now.
My girlfriend – the same woman I left my wife for – is anxious for us to get married and start building a life together. I am still overwhelmed from the whole bitter divorce process. Right now, I cannot begin to think about getting married again.
I told my girlfriend I am not ready and that I need some time. She says I am taking her for granted and refusing to make a legal commitment.
She also wants to have at least one child, although I am not prepared to have any more children.
I already have two with my ex. It has now reached the point where she says she is going to leave me if I do not commit to marrying her.
What can I do to make her understand I need time to process all that has happened? I don’t want to lose her, but I am just not ready for marriage so soon.
– MR D Dear Mr D, I don’t think you can have it both ways if she keeps insisting that you marry her.
It seems like it’s either you marry her, or you lose her.
Given her push for marriage, I am questioning if she truly loves you. The feelings you are experiencing are normal after a bitter divorce. Please do not allow yourself to be stampeded. When the time is right for you to remarry, you will know it without being pressured. If she wants to go, let her go.
– CHRISTINE
