Dear Christine, I HAVE BEEN married 20 years to a wonderful, accomplished woman.
We have two wonderful children. I fooled around throughout my marriage because I could. I justified it by telling myself the women knew what they were doing, and I never made any false promises about leaving my wife. She suspected a couple of times, but always gave me the benefit of the doubt.
My last affair ended publicly with many gory details exposed.
My family, work, reputation – everything that mattered to me have been destroyed. I also fathered a child in the process. There are few people I can talk to because friends and coworkers now shun me.
One relative wants me to speak to a counsellor, but I am not sure if I should.
If you have a hopeful solution, please share it. Otherwise, please print this as a warning to other men who cheat.
We always pay at some time or the other. Right now, I am depressed and suicidal.
– G.H.
Dear G.H., I understand this experience has been painful for all concerned, but stop focusing only on yourself and your pain. Suicide may seem like a solution, but your children need you alive and functional. Their needs must take precedence.
Take your relative’s advice and speak to a counsellor. Most likely that person will be someone you can relate to, and feel safe enough with to discuss everything that has happened from the beginning.
There is life after divorce, public embarrassment and career setbacks.
So straighten your backbone and keep marching forward.
While it may not seem like it right now, I am sure there are better days ahead.
– CHRISTINE
