Dear Christine, MY HUSBAND and I have been together for 12 years. We have two children, a good marriage, and a close bond with my family.
My husband’s family disowned him when he married me because of my race. Since then, my husband has been angry and disappointed with his family. I know that he misses them because before me the family was very close.
I have been called every name in the book by his mother, ignored by his siblings and brought to tears by his father’s hateful words.
I refuse to expose our children to that kind of treatment, but I am wondering if my husband should try making contact. His family grew up hating people who are of a different race than they are. I doubt they have changed since we last spoke. I know our children will face this issue sometime.
J.Y.
Dear J.Y, Do not push your husband to contact his family. It seems like they are so vested in their bias, it’s unlikely they will change.
Your husband made his choice 12 years ago when he chose you. That’s why rather than dwelling on the past he should focus his energy on creating a successful and fulfilling future with you, his children, and the family who has embraced him.
When your children reach the age where they fully understand what’s going on with their paternal grandparents, tell them the truth.
– CHRISTINE
DAILY
