DEAR CHRISTINE, I AM writing to you about a situation which has been bothering me for quite some time now.
I am in my late 20s and I have been married for four years. My wife is three years older than I am and we have a young child.
I truly love my wife and our child but lately, I have found myself becoming attached to a young woman who recently joined the company where I work.
Please do not get me wrong; we have not gone so far as to discuss any feelings between us. In fact, I am not even sure if she is attracted to me but we find every opportunity to be together. She talks to me about her decision to “stick to herself” because of past hurts and to do what she can to move forward in her job.
Some mornings I cannot wait to reach the office so we can chat. Sometimes we take lunch together. I honestly do not believe she has a single clue how much she means to me.
I am not cheating on my wife as there is no physical contact, but should I continue to attach myself to this young woman? Is it unfair to my wife in any way?
– D.B.
Dear D.B.,
A great journey begins with a single step. I cannot predict the future or see around every corner, but wisdom tells me if you are being drawn to a single, free and disengaged young woman, anything can happen – even with the best of intentions.
You are not physically cheating on your wife but clearly, you are playing with fire when you desire to be with this woman so much so that you cannot wait to reach the office to see her.
I am not going to tell you not to keep this woman as a work colleague, but I think you should reduce the amount of time you two are spending together and desist from having lunch on a regular basis if you do.
Being married does not automatically mean you do not find members of the opposite sex attractive. The thing is to know how far to go and to truly remain faithful to your spouse – despite the temptations that come your way.
– CHRISTINE