Dear Christine,
I AM HAVING A MAJOR PROBLEM with my boyfriend and I am wondering, even though I love him, whether I should give him up.
I am 16 years old and already I’ve had an abortion. I do not feel very good about this but my boyfriend appears very indifferent.
If my parents or even my teachers or friends knew about this, I don’t know how I would be able to face them. All these people see me as the perfect child, student and friend.
I have been seeing this guy for 18 months and it is because my parents trust me that I find it so easy to visit him at his home. I know this is wrong but it is hard right now to bring the relationship to an end, even though I think I should.
My major problem in all this is that my boyfriend hates to use condoms because he says he does not enjoy sex with them. I am trying to please him but I am frustrated because I do not want to become pregnant again.
He is 23 years old and I know I am not his first girlfriend because he has already told me he has never used a condom before. On the other hand, he is my first boyfriend.
What do you think I should do?
– S.H.
Dear S.H.,
I think you should stop putting your life at risk, stick to your school work/education and get this man out of your life.
I am sometimes appalled at how young men and women put their lives at risks by having unprotected sex in this day and age when HIV/Aids and other sexually transmitted diseases are so prevalent.
Apart from the fact that you are too young to be trying to please this man who seems not to care about what sexually transmitted diseases he may pick up along the way, you have already had an abortion. He obviously also does not care about what he may be capable of passing on to you. If he really cared, he would have also considered the fact that having sex with a 15-year-old (who is considered a minor) is an offence.
Put a stop to this “relationship” right now! Get out of this mess and take care of your body. Take some pride in yourself and stop allowing this man to take advantage of you and to use your body as he wants to. And please, do not refer to him as your “boyfriend”. He is there for what you are offering and you have given him the liberty of using your body as he pleases. That’s all it is.
At the end of the day you are not fooling your parents, teachers or friends. You are fooling yourself, and this young man is making a fool of you.
I also think you should read the letter which was written by a 17-year-old in yesterday’s Dear Christine. You should seriously follow her advice to a “T” and learn sense from what she wrote.
– CHRISTINE