Dear Christine,
I need some advice urgently. I am 17 and in love with a guy who is 44 years old – 27 years older than I am.
I met him a year ago. He is single, well educated, handsome, respectable and I am still going to school.
The problem is, he had a girlfriend in one of the other islands and they have a child who is four years old. This woman now lives in North America but they communicate often.
Whenever I ask about her, he does not answer. I have seen some of her letters and they are all love letters.
My family and I are from one of the neighbouring islands and we are very well off, so I am not in love with this man because of anything he has to give me.
Do you think I should marry this man when I am out of school as planned? I don’t think I’ll be able to love again if I ever lose him. Please give me your advice.
– H.L.
Dear H.L.,
No, I do not think you should marry this man who is nothing more than a father figure in your life.
If you were perhaps older, I would probably answer you differently, but as it stands you are way too young right now.
There is too great a difference in your ages not to cause any union between you two to be a somewhat risky step to take.
Most likely you are flattered by his attention, but have you considered that when you are his age, you’ll probably have to care for a senile mate? Let’s be realistic about this.
What’s more, you can see that he is still very close to the mother of his child. Do you believe that marrying you will change that relationship?
I think you should speak to your parents about this attachment and try not to worry about falling in love again. You will most likely do so several times down the road, so move on right now.
– CHRISTINE
