Dear Christine,
I am getting straight to the point. I am a man in my early 30s. For the past couple years I’ve been in a relationship with a man I met when he was a project manager on a big building in Bridgetown. I worked as a mason at first but he saw my potential and took me as his lover.
Sometimes we spent the night at each other’s house, but as he came from the North, it was hard to get a bus. We decided then to work out a deal. Christine, this guy was and still is in a relationship with two women who reside in the North.
When they give him trouble, he would come and talk to me. That’s how one thing led to another. My relationship with him is good, but the woman from the upper North wants him all to herself. The one from lower North just uses him. Not that he cares, because we tell each other everything.
I am wondering if it is his truck that has them. It still looks good and he has had it for six or seven years now. It is lovely, with seats that go back, and we sometimes lift up the back seat and have our fun, plus, it is painted in my favourite colour.
I don’t know how things got out of hand, but the woman in the lower north has a car and also messes around with other guys. The other one is not much different, but they are no competition for me.
Only last week I found out that I have a fatal sexual disease. I told my lover but he didn’t seem to care. I am scared. The only consolation is that he and these two women, together with whoever else he is messing with, are going to die also. He doesn’t ever use protection.
I know that besides his two sons, I come next, then that van which would put him in trouble if it could talk. Do you think I should stay with him or bail out now? To me, it makes not much difference because I love him. The question is, can I survive? I know that he prefers intimacy with men moreso than women. It is easy to love him because he has those bulgy bedroom eyes.
– ?
Dear ?
Forgive me if I come across as cruel, but individuals like you who are willing to “kill” others without blinking an eyelid and have no regard for anyone else but themselves are not just a threat to society, but a disgrace to the human race.
I could not care less what your sexual orientation is – that is your choice – but when you and your so-called lover can straddle the fence, engage in sex with men and women, refuse to use condoms and put your lives and others’ at risk, it shows your inability to love yourselves. How then can you love others? Perhaps you have no love either for the woman who brought you into this world. What a shame!
Your letter is cruel (even if it is true) and it is written by a man who has no heart whatsoever.
Quite frankly, I could not care less whether you stay with this man or bail out. As far as I am concerned, both of you have already bailed out – judging from what you’ve told me about your “fatal sexual disease”. You are simply in the departure lounge waiting to take the next flight out – out of this world, that is. Perhaps the world will be a better place.
As for those women whom you mentioned, I’m sure they both believe they are the only ones in this man’s life. If they too are running around, they have only themselves to blame if they have contracted a sexual disease.
With all the sexually transmitted diseases out there, the onus is on each individual to use protection. This cannot be preached enough. I can only hope that your letter will at least serve to remind others that protection is necessary when abstinence appears to be a burden.
It should also serve to remind the gullible that “all that glitters is not gold”.
– CHRISTINE
