Our modern generation has given up big time on God, or Mother Nature, if you prefer. We human beings no longer have to heed all those warnings against excess, destroying the balance of nature, doing as we please. And why?
We have the scientists, our modern gods. They will see us through. Do your worst, Mother Nature! Bring it on, Old-Time God! Our boys in white coats have the answers. They will smoke you.
So it shocks us to the core when reports surface of superbugs at hospitals, the very “green zones” supposedly totally secure against such natural terrorists. This happened recently at our own national hospital.
Nor are we alone in this: “New York – Health officials say there’s been an alarming increase in some dangerous superbugs at United States hospitals. These superbugs are common germs that have become extremely resistant to treatment with antibiotics . . . .”
Lord a’ mercy, ain’t nobody got time for that!
The problem, of course, is two-fold. Sex and Sir Roy Trotman. First off, those bugs are having wild, unprotected sex like 24 hours a day. You never hear a female bug complaining: “Not tonight, Fred. Ah’ve got a headache. Besides we’ve already got 49 million children to buy shoes for”. No. It’s always: “Do it, boy! That missionary thing is the greatest! And we need to throw up some offspring resistant to those new antibios.”
Meanwhile, the scientist, hamstrung by union rules, is trying to combat Nature within his eight-hour, five-day week. He doesn’t stand a chance. We farmers could’ve told them. We’ve been there, done that. Listened to the promises, oohed and ahhed at the amazing early results, reaped the bitter rewards not far down the road.
Remember DDT? The total insect killer? Until soon it was shown that within five generations you could breed flies which would swim happily in DDT. Remember penicillin?
In recent times we’ve had Bayticol, the wonder pour-on for ticks. Now you drop by any tick bar on karaoke night and they’re chanting: “Gimme a brandy and Bayticol, sugar!”
I could go on and on. The new weed-killers cleaned up the simple broad-leaf weeds we had around. Until one morning farmers awoke to total fields of expensive-to-eradicate nut grass. The more we hit them, the more the germs, weeds, fungi and whatever hit back. Some MDR (multidrug-resistant) typhoid patients have to be kept in total isolation.
Ain’t nobody got time for that either. But the answer, my friend, is blowing in the wind. We can’t beat ’em but we can join them to make this world a better place for all. Including bugs.
Many years ago if we dairy farmers had mastitis (udder infection) problems, the vets would prescribe stronger and stronger antibiotics. Until soon we were dealing with heavyweight bacteria that would kill your animal within days.
So I backed off and discovered the amazing truth: sick animals usually recover in a week if you use antibiotics; or in seven days if you don’t. Bingo!
You see, there are minor bugs you can live with. Knock them out and their big brothers will step in and hurt you bad. Not only that. There are beneficial bacteria who keep those other fellows in check. Your wonder drugs knock out both and leave you unprotected.
A cow totally free of ticks is much more at risk than one who has a few. A farmer (I think Dr Stephen St John made this point) is much less likely to get lepto because he is constantly exposed to small doses. And the ladies who don’t overwash their portfolios won’t get resistant yeast infections.
My wife has been pushing me to get a Boyzilian – total pubic topiary – which is the new fad. Thankfully, research has shown in the nick of time that these can lead to STD infections including Molluscum contagiosum. Ask sex expert Sanka about that.
So, my friends, live and let live. Don’t overdo the sanitation. Pests come and pests go. Remember the giant African snail onslaught? Climbing up your walls, trying to get in at doors and windows.
They died down and next thing it was the politicians a few months ago doing much the same thing. Now they’re gone and the house ants have taken over.
Don’t worry. They too shall pass in the fullness of time.
• Richard Hoad is a farmer and social commentator. Email porkhoad @gmail.com.