Dear Christine,
I am married and though I am happy with my life, I find I am increasingly becoming attracted to a man I recently met.
Since we started communicating I have found myself looking forward to his texts and phone calls. I have even begun to fantasize about being intimate with him as he has a nice looking body.
I don’t know what is happening to me because I was never like this. That is why I am seeking your advice because I need to talk with someone about what I am feeling. I just don’t understand it.
The thing is this man is married and always says nice things about his wife. Yet he, too, is attracted to me and is keen on getting closer.
What has me so confused is that though I know what I am feeling and thinking is stupid, I like the attention. Also, I would not like to lose his friendship because since we started talking I feel attractive and sexy again. Why is this happening to me at this time of my life?
– Concerned
Dear Concerned,
You didn’t say how old you are and how long you have been married, but based on what you stated about feeling attractive and sexy again, this could be a missing aspect from your relationship with your husband that this man is bringing to the fore.
To put it another way, when a couple have been married for a while, it isn’t necessarily that they take each other for granted, though that sometimes happens.
It’s more the case that they focus on their day-to-day responsibilities – and this is especially so when they have children – than pay attention to their own emotional needs.
Then, when someone comes along and shows a romantic interest in either one of them, they sometimes stray.
Therefore, what you’re thinking and feeling is something many women and men go through; so there is nothing wrong with you. If you become intimate with this man you will have to deal with the consequences of that decision and, in a worse case scenario, you could ruin your marriage.
I would advise you to try to infuse more romance back into your marriage, and keep that at the forefront.
– Christine
