Disputes between men and women have been with us for many years. I may be wrong, but it seems like this man versus woman saga has reached the two leading NGOs representing both genders in this nation, the Men’s Educational Support Association (MESA) and the National Organization of Women (NOW).
Wouldn’t it be nice if both organizations could work together in addressing gender issues? After all, men’s issues affect women and vice versa.
Now, I find it strange and somewhat disrespectful for the president of NOW, Marilyn Rice-Bowen, to dictate to MESA what their agenda and priorities should be after just having said in an article on page 29A of the May 26 SUNDAY SUN: “MESA cannot set the agenda for NOW”. Rice-Bowen argued that MESA was ignoring the real issues that men face and went on to say: “MESA . . . you should focus and advocate for legislation to address paternity leave with pay. The fathers of this country are seeking an ally to lobby on their behalf. This issue should be front-burner issue for MESA, not mandatory DNA testing.”
MESA represents men and NOW represents women. How is it that NOW’s president knows the real issues men face and not MESA’s president? Is it that the men are taking their issues to NOW? Here lies the ongoing problem of women telling men what their roles and priorities are. I am not saying a woman can’t make suggestions about a man’s role but in a case like this, for madam president to do such was unwise. What made matters worse was where it was done, in a room filled mostly with women.
If I was to tell NOW that the real issue faced by women in this country is submitting to their husbands and that is what they should be focusing on, I would be criticized and verbally crucified. I am sure women are the only ones who can adequately voice their main concerns and communicate what their issues are. I think the same can be said about men.
It wasn’t my desire to speak via this article about the DNA testing debate but it seems that I couldn’t resist. I cannot comprehend why there is so much opposition to mandatory DNA testing, especially as it relates to paternity disputes. It also seems like most of this opposition is coming from women. If mothers have nothing to hide and have been faithful and honest, they shouldn’t be worried about the results of the DNA test. On the other hand, maybe a test of this sort could cause some serious problems and evoke many questions in scores of relationships in this country.
I believe any decent man would have no problem parenting a child that isn’t his own. Where the problem comes is when a man is deceived to believe the child is his and ends up raising and supporting another man’s offspring.
Paternity leave with pay would be a gift to fathers. However, a man could care less about paternity leave if he finds out his partner was unfaithful to him and the child he is raising isn’t his. The issue isn’t the child; the issues are the deception, lies and disrespect that some women try to justify. Yes, the child has a right to be parented and loved, but the man also has a right to be respected and honoured.
I fully support mandatory DNA testing. Too many men have been deceived, taken advantage of and used. Women, if you know the child isn’t the man’s own, let him know up front and give him the opportunity to decide what he will do.
You know what? If we would all be faithful to our partners, this DNA discussion would be irrelevant.
Now to the men: God gave women to us as a gift to be honoured, respected, loved and supported. We are not to abuse them in any form at all. Yes, the persons we love the most also anger us the most, but we still have a responsibility not to act based on our emotions solely but on the word of God. Men, love your wives as Christ loved the church.
• Corey Worrell is a former Commonwealth Youth ambassador.
